EUROKOM UNICEF

[akin62]

Hallo leute ich hab am Freitag eurokom und brauch eure hilfe seht ihr noch fehler in diesem Text? Könnt ihr mir helfen komplizierte Sätze zu vereinfachen?? Bitte bitte ich brauche echt dringend eure hilfe!



EUROKOM ENGLISCH

Good Morning…My name is Akin. The subject of today´s presentation is UNICEF. I´ll be talking about the funtion of UNICEF first, than move on to the history and after this, I´ll tell you something about UNICEF International and UNICEF Germany. And at last about the success from UNICEF.


UNICEF means

U = United
N = Nations
I = International
C = Children
E = Emergency
F = Fund

what does UNICEF?
UNICEF is the world organization for children's rights. UNICEF helps people in 150 countries and problem areas around the world. UNICEF supply children in the world with medical, builds water-wells and supply school-materials for millions of children. But they also help to protect children from AIDS and from crime.

UNICEF history
UNICEF was established on December 11, 1946.
At the beginning UNICEF was an emergency organization. In the 50s the help was especially in the countries of Africa.
So UNICEF had become a development organization. In 1965 UNICEF gets the Nobel Peace Prize.

UNICEF International
UNICEF International is the only UN organization with volunteers. UNICEF works in more than 150 countries. They offer fast help for the humanity. The warehouse is in Copenhagen. UNICEF is funded entirely by voluntary funds and donations. UNICEF is funded completely by voluntary funds and donations. A criterion for the selection of a project is the country's infant mortality rate. The largest regional focus is Sub-Saharan Africa with 52.4%. The budget of UNICEF International is more than 2 billion U.S. $. The UNICEF headquarters are located in New York, there the donations will be distributed to aid projects. UNICEF has 7000 full-time staff worldwide. 90% of them work in the UNICEF program countries. UNICEF has a global presence.

UNICEF Germany
Was founded in 1953. UNICEF Germany gets no appropriation. At UNICEF Germany working 92 full-time employees and 8,000 volunteers. UNICEF Germany has conquered through greeting cards, gifts and scenario campaign 21 million euro.

Success of UNICEF
The number of children enrolled increased. Infant mortality has been halved since 1950. Each year 2.5 million vaccination campaigns save children's lives.

I hope you enjoyed my presentation.
Thank you very much for your attention.
In case of any questions, do not hesitate to ask me now.

[friendly2004]

Hallo,

erst mal was Generelles:

fang bloß nicht jeden Satz mit UNICEF an. Das ist sehr unschön. Benutze stattdessen "Unifec does...", "They also...", "Furthermore one of the main functions"... "One of their.. is also to...".

Warum sagst du deinen Namen? Kennen dich die Lehrer nicht? Sag doch bspw. "Good morning. I've decided to talk about the UNICEF ORG. today..." oder "My subject is..".

Dann gleich am Anfang kommt going-to. "I am going to talk about the function...". "The second point will be the history of the UNICEF/this organisation...followed by details/information about/on UNICEF intl. and Germany. "My final words/The conclusion/At the end.."

Vielleicht auch nicht perfekt aber bestimmt variabler und abwechslungsreicher für das Gremium sowie ein, zwei Pluspunkte für deine Note.

Ich würde auch eher sagen, "The letters of the name UNICEF stand for...".

Wenn du zu Zahlen kommst, was bspw. Helfer oder Länder angeht, nehm doch auch mal "represented". Bspw. UNICEF is represented in more than 150 countries. Bring nicht zu viele Infos, sodass auch Fragen gestellt werden können, wohingegen du natürlich wichtige Punkte bringen solltest, damit sie gesagt sind und nicht noch gefragt werden Nach den 150 countries zähle doch noch ein paar auf. "Such as Germany, Austria, Switzerland, USA, ...". Fünf, sechs Stück langen.

Du könntest auch, was die 8.000 Freiwillige angeht das Verb "engage" benutzen. "There are 92 full-time employees working in the German branch (office) and (more than) 8.000 who engange in voluntary service (for UNICEF GERMANY).

Das mal grob, ich habe nicht alles angeschaut.

Zum Schluss:
Thank you very much for your attention... Kannst so stehen lassen.
Den Satz mit "hope you enjoyed" würde ich weglassen.

Und dann, wegen den Fragen, bspw.:
If you have any questions, please feel now free to ask.

Viel Glück!

[Duckduck]

Hallo Leute, ich habe am Freitag Eurokom und brauche Eure Hilfe. Seht Ihr noch Fehler in diesem Text? Könnt Ihr mir helfen, komplizierte Sätze zu vereinfachen?? Bitte, bitte, ich brauche echt dringend Eure Hilfe!

Hi Akin62
Ganz ruhig, wir helfen Dir gerne. Ich finde die Anmerkungen von friendly2004 ganz prima und rate Dir heftig zu Berücksichtigung, werde deshalb die Teile nicht weiter ändern. Ich gucke jetzt noch mal den Rest des Textes auf Fehlerchen oder Änderungsvorschläge durch, OK?
Übrigens, wir versuchen, auch im Deutschen möglichst auf die Rechtschreibung zu achten, weil manchmal Leute hier gerne zum Deutsch-Lernen vorbeischauen...


EUROKOM ENGLISCH

Good morning…My name is Akin. The subject of today's presentation is UNICEF. I'll be talking about the function of UNICEF first, than move on to the history and after this, I'll tell you something about UNICEF International and UNICEF Germany. And finally about the success of UNICEF.


UNICEF means (s. friendly2004)

U = United
N = Nations
I = International
C = Children
E = Emergency
F = Fund

What does UNICEF do?
UNICEF is the world organization for children's rights. UNICEF helps people in 150 countries and problem areas around the world. UNICEF supplies children in the world with medical treatment, builds water-wells and supplies school-materials for millions of children. But this important organization also helps to protect children from AIDS and from crime.

UNICEF history
UNICEF was founded on December 11, 1946.
At the beginning UNICEF was an emergency organization. In the 50s the help was focused especially on the countries of Africa.
So in time UNICEF had became a development organization. In 1965 UNICEF gets won the Nobel Peace Prize.

UNICEF International
UNICEF International is the only UN organization working with volunteers. UNICEF works in more than 150 countries. They offer fast help for the humanity's sake (Oder meinst Du "mankind"). The warehouse (Was meinst Du damit?) is in Copenhagen. UNICEF is funded (financed) entirely by (through) voluntary funds and donations. UNICEF is funded completely by voluntary funds and donations. A criterion for the selection of a project is the country's infant mortality rate. The largest regional focus is Sub-Saharan Africa with 52.4%. The budget of UNICEF International is more than 2 billion U.S. $. The UNICEF headquarters are located in New York, from there the donations are distributed to aid projects. UNICEF has 7000 full-time staff worldwide. 90% of them work in the UNICEF program countries. UNICEF shows global presence.

UNICEF Germany
Was founded in 1953. UNICEF Germany gets no subsidies. As many as 92 full-time employees and 8,000 volunteers work at UNICEF Germany. UNICEF Germany has earned 21 million Euro through selling greeting cards, gifts and scenario campaign???.

Success of UNICEF
The number of supported and saved children has steadily increased. Infant mortality has been halved since 1950. Each year 2.5 million vaccinations campaigns save children's lives.

I hope you enjoyed my presentation.
Thank you very much for your attention.
In case of any questions, do not hesitate to ask me now.

Soweit meine Vorschläge, insgesamt ein schöner Vortrag, finde ich.
Vom Stil her - wie gesagt - bitte friendly2004's Ideen berücksichtigen.

Good luck says
Duckduck