Hab ich alles richtig? Kann jemand kontrollieren?

Alles zum Abitur und zur Sekundarstufe I.
Tips for Exams (A-level/Year 10).
Antworten
EnglishDummi
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Hab ich alles richtig? Kann jemand kontrollieren?

Beitrag von EnglishDummi »

Hallo,

ich bin total mies in Englisch, und sehe der Englisch-Prüfung nächste Woche mit zittern entgegen.
Nun, ich hab meine Monologe bereits geschrieben.
Nun brauch ich aber jemanden, der nochmal drüber schauen kann, ob ich alles richtig gemacht habe, oder halt, zur Not berichtigt. ^^

Ich fände es so nett von euch, und hoffe auf schnelle Hilfe.

Hier sind die Monologe. Ich hab, falls Verständnis-Probleme auftauchen, die Deutschen nochmal dazugemacht. Aber nicht bei Immigrants!



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1) Immigrants and Emigrants

Now, I want to present you my English Monolog about Immigrants and Emigrants. I have structured my monolog in the following points: At first, I want to tell you something about Immigrants and Emigrants. After, I will speak about the historical Immigration waves into the USA and the reasons for it. At third, I tell about the Emigrants who leave Europe for the American Dream.
Ok. At first, Immigrants and Emigrants. Immigration is defined as settlers coming into a country of which one is not a native for permanent residence. And Emigration is defined as departing from one country or region to settle or reside in another.
The Immigration: Immigration into the New World began with the discovery of America by Christopher Columbus in 1492. His many trips from Spain introduced the Europeans to the new lands for various reasons, mainly the search for gold. The Spanish came first, then the Dutch, Swedish, English, French, Germans, Scotch, Irish, Poles and Italians. In addition thousands of Blacks were brought here as slaves. The English were the most numerous. They brought with them their language and other traditions that largely became the basis of the American way of life.
The French explored the east, and then the north and south. Swedish and later Norwegians went to the Midwestern prairies and to the north central timberlands which closely resembled Scandinavia. The Germans liked the Midwest.
For the first 200 years of colonization, growth was small. In 1680 the population was about 200,000; in 1776 it still was only about 2,000,000. Then, the Immigration grow up, and big cities arise. Now, Immigrants found small towns and large cities, churches, books and newspapers and comfortable homes. During the American and French Revolutionary Wars, immigration was little. No more than 10,000 people a year came to America. With the end of the war of 1812 and Napoleon Wars, normal travel once again became possible.
There were different reasons for the Immigration. On the first period of Immigration, the settlers want to have gold. But later work and the American Dream of freedom were reasons for the Immigration.
The Emigration. The Emigration, I said it, is defined as departing from one country or region to settle or reside in another. The migration of masses of people from European countries began in the 19. Century. In this time, nearly sixty million people travelled thousands of miles in new lands, to find political or religious freedom. Not all emigrants came to the United States. Australia, New Zealand, Argentina, Brazil and Canada attracted about one third of the total emigrant population.
The most Emigrants, who came to America, came for the American dream. The American dream held by many in the United States, that through hard work, courage and determination one could achieve prosperity. These were values held by many European settlers.
And now, I would like to finish my monolog. Thanks for listening.

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2) Jobs

Young peoples want to enjoy the life, to get a good paid job, best the dream job and to life how they want. About this topic, young peoples live, I would like to speak in this monolog. I have structured my monolog into the following points: At first I would like to speak about work and job search. At second I would like to speak about life expectancies. At last I will say something about different ways of life, life-styles.
Everyone would like to have his dream job. Naturally it’s mostly not so. You need different conditions for a job, and if you cannot fulfill these, then you must look for another job. But without work it isn’t also the best. If you are unemployed, mostly you look for a part time job. But part time jobs often are not so interesting and also you get not so much money. A real job is better. But sometimes you don’t know what you would like to do. Then you can do a practical, par example in a firm who you interest.
It gives points, which are important when you search for employment. The work time par example is very important! Finally you would like to have also spare time, in which you can do what you want. Also holidays plays a role. Finally you would like to drive in the holidays, with your family! Therefore I couldn’t introduce me, to be a famous person. Because these have mostly only few spare time, because they must to go from one place to another place, in the whole world. Nevertheless often stars are Idols for young peoples. Of course, many young persons have naturally also their parents as Idols, but I think that the most want to be different as they. I thing so too. Ok. At the end, I can say, that everyone must decide it alone what he want like to do! And with this sentence I would like to finish my monolog! Thanks for listening!

Deutsch:

Junge Menschen wollen das Leben genießen, einen gut bezahlten aber leichten Job haben, am besten der Traumjob und so leben wie sie es möchten. Darüber möchte ich in diesem Monolog sprechen. Ich habe meinen Monolog in folgende Punkte gegliedert: Als erstes möchte ich über Arbeit sprechen und Jobsuche. Als Zweites möchte ich über Lebenserwartungen sprechen. Als letztes werde ich kurz etwas zu verschiedenen Lebensarten, Lebensstilen sagen.
Jeder möchte gerne seinen Traumjob haben. Natürlich klappt dies meistens nicht. Man braucht bestimmte Vorraussetzungen für einen Job, und wenn man diese nicht erfüllen kann, dann muss man sich einen anderen Job suchen. Aber ohne Arbeit ist auch nich das wahre. Wenn man Arbeitslos ist, sucht man sich meistens einen Teilzeitjob. Dieser ist aber meistens nicht das was man sich vorstellt und auch oft mit wenig Lohn verbunden. So dauert es vielleicht Jahre, bis man einen Job gefunden hat der einem gefällt. Manchmal weiß man auch gar nicht, was man gerne möchte. Dann kann man Praktika durchführen, bei Firmen die einem interessieren.
Es gibt aber auch weitere Punkte die einem bei der Arbeitssuche interessieren. Die Arbeitszeiten sind auch sehr wichtig! Schließlich möchte man auch Freizeit haben, in der man mal etwas tun kann was einem gefällt. Auch Urlaub spielt eine Rolle. Schließlich möchte man ja auch mal mit der Familie, sofern man mal eine hat, in den Urlaub fahren!
Deswegen könnte ich es mir auch nicht vorstellen eine berühmte Person zu sein. Denn diese haben meist noch weniger Freizeit, weil sie von einem Ort zum anderen müssen, in der ganzen Welt.
Trotzdem werden Stars zum Beispiel oft auch als Vorbilder und Idole genommen. Viele haben natürlich auch ihre Eltern als Vorbilder, aber ich denke, dass die meisten anders sein wollen als sie. So denke auch ich.
Zusammenfassend kann man sagen, dass eigentlich jeder es selbst entscheiden muss was er mal in der Zukunft machen möchte, und wie er es machen möchte! Und mit diesem Satz möchte ich meinen Vortrag beenden!

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3) Schule

The school is a very important topic for us. Especially now, in the tenth class, where the examinations are. Therefore, I will tell something to you about the school and my school-life. I structured my monolog as follows: At first, I will say some general facts about the school.
Then, I will talk about my class and my school-life. As last, I will tell my plans after the school.
We go into the Freifrau-von-Löwendal grammar school. The Dame Benedicta Margareta of Löwendal was a Danish-German noble and originator of the Lauchhammer-works.
In honour of her is a street in Lauchhammer and the Freifrau-von-Löwendal-grammar school named. Our school exists since 1965. In 1991, our school was changed into a grammar school at that time. The grammar school Lauchhammer visits at the moment about 700 peoples.

We have not so much events, but every year to Christmas there is a Christmas-concert.

After every lesson, we always have 10 minutes break, and two times a longer one. What is not good is the schedule, that every half year changes. Actually, the whole school-system is dumb! In my class is always a relaxed atmosphere. Everyone is assessed fair and treated. Our teachers are all good, with a few exceptions that I would not like to name here. (Frau Kelle)
My favourite subject is German, because there is the most relaxed atmosphere.
French I doesn't like, because I can't it. Nevertheless the school time is good at this school and I like to come here. After the school, I would like to study direction or 3D Animation-Supervisor at the film-college in Baden-Württemberg. Why? Everyone in my class knows that I like to do films and to demonstrate to lectures. And with this sentence I would like to finish my monolog!

Deutsch:

Die Schule ist für uns ein sehr bedeutendes Thema. Ganz besonders jetzt, in der Zehnten Klasse, wo die Prüfungen sind. Deshalb werde ich jetzt einiges zur Schule und mein Schulleben erzählen. Ich habe meinen Vortrag folgendermaßen gegliedert: Als erstes werde ich einige allgemeine Fakten zur Schule sagen. Dann werde ich über meine Klasse und mein Schulleben sprechen. Als letztes werde ich meine Pläne nach der Schule erzählen.

Wir gehen in das Freifrau-von-Löwendal Gymnasium. Die Freifrau Benedicta Margareta von Löwendal war eine dänisch-deutsche Adlige und Gründerin des Lauchhammer-Werkes. Ihr zu Ehren sind in Lauchhammer eine Straße und das Freifrau-von-Löwendal-Gymnasium der Stadt benannt. Unsere Schule existiert seit 1965. Seit 1991 kann bei uns die Allgemeine Hochschulreife erlangt werden, da unsere Schule damals in ein Gymnasium umgewandelt wurde. Gymnasium Lauchhammer besuchen zurzeit ca. 720 Schülerinnen und Schüler der
Jahrgangsstufen 7 bis 13.

Jedes Jahr gibt es bei uns einmal ein Sportfest und zu Weihnachten das Weihnachtskonzert.
Nach jeder Stunde haben wir immer 10 Minuten Pause und zweimal eine längere Hofpause. Was ich nicht gut finde ist der Stundenplan, der sich jedes halbe Jahr ändert. Eigentlich ist das ganze Schulsystem doof!

In meiner Klasse herrscht immer eine eher ruhige lockere Atmosphäre. Jeder wird fair bewertet und behandelt. Unsere Lehrer sind fast alle gut, bis auf ein paar Ausnahmen, die ich hier nicht nennen möchte. (Frau Kelle)
Am liebsten mag ich Deutsch, da dort die lockerste Atmosphäre herrscht. Französisch mag ich nicht, da ich es nicht kann.
Trotzdem ist die Schulzeit an dieser Schule gut und ich mag es hier her zu kommen.

Nach der Schule möchte ich Regie oder 3D Animationsfilmer an der Filmhochschule in Baden-Württemberg studieren. Wieso? Mittlerweile müsste man in meiner Klasse wissen, dass ich es mag Filme herzustellen und zu Vorträgen vorzuführen. Und diesen hier möchte ich damit beenden!
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Ich danke jetzt schon, das ihr euch Zeit für mich nehmt. :)

EnglishDummi




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Beitrag von EnglishDummi »

Bitte.....brauch das wirklich ganz dringend.... :(

EnglishDummi

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Beitrag von boert »

1) Immigrants and Emigrants

Now, I want to present you my English Monolog(ue) about Immigrants and Emigrants. I have structured my monolog into the following points:

At first, I want to tellyou something about Immigrants and Emigrants. After that, I will speak about the historical Immigration waves into the USA and the reasons for it.
At third, I will tell about the Emigrants who leave Europe for the American Dream.

Ok. At first, Immigrants and Emigrants. Immigration is defined as settlers coming into a country of which one is not a native for permanent residence. And Emigration is defined as departing from one country or region to settle or reside in another.

The Immigration: Immigration into the "New World" (explanation!) began with the discovery of America by Christopher Columbus in 1492. His many trips from Spain introduced the Europeans to the new lands for various reasons, mainly the search for gold.
The Spanish came first, then the Dutch, Swedish, English, French, Germans, Scotch, Irish, Poles and Italians followed.
In addition, thousands of Blacks were brought there as slaves.
The English were the most numerous. They brought with them their language and other traditions that largely became the basis of the American way of life.
The French explored the east, and then the north and south (of?). Swedish Swedes and later Norwegians went to the Midwestern prairies and to the north central timberlands, which closely resembled Scandinavia very closely. The Germans liked(anderes Wort) the Midwest.
For the first 200 years of colonization, growth was small. In 1680 the population was about 200,000; in 1776 it still was only about 2,000,000. Then, the Immigration grow up (Kann eine Einwanderun wachsen?), and big cities arise arose. Now, Immigrants founded small towns and large cities, churches, books and newspapers and comfortable homes.
During the American and French Revolutionary Wars, immigration was little (s.o.).
Not more than 10,000 people a year came to America.
With the end of the war of 1812 and Napoleon Wars, normal travel once again became possible.
There were different reasons for the Immigration. On the first period of Immigration, the settlers want to have were digging for gold. But later, work and the American Dream of freedom were reasons for theImmigration.


The Emigration. The Emigration, I said it, is defined as departing from one country or region to settle or reside in another. The migration of masses of people from European countries began in the 19. Century.
In this time, nearly sixty million people travelled thousands of miles in to new lands, to find political or religious freedom. Not all emigrants came to the United States. Australia, New Zealand, Argentina, Brazil and Canada attracted about one third of the total emigrants population.
The most Emigrants, who came to America, came for went there to live the American dream. The American dream held by many in the United States, that through hard work, courage and determination one could achieve prosperity. These were values held by many European settlers.
With these words, I would like to finish my monolog. Thanks for listening.

----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
2) Jobs

Young peoples want to enjoy their life, to get a good paid job, best the dream job and to life how the way they want.

About this topic,young peoples life, I would like to speak in this monolog. I have structured my monolog into the following points: At first I would like to speak about work and job search. At second Secondly I would like to speak talk aboutlife expectancies their expectations. At last I will say something My last point is about different ways of life, the so called life-styles.

Everyone would like to have wants to get his dream job. Naturally it’s mostly not so For most peole, this dream does not come true.
You need different conditions for a job, and - if you cannot fulfill these, then you must look for another job. But without work it isn’t also the best. If you are unemployed, mostly you look for a part time job. But part time jobs often are not so interesting what you expect, additonally you earn less money and also you get not so much money.
A real job is better.
But sometimes you don’t know what you would like want to do. To find out, Then you can do a practical internship, par example in a firm who you interest.
It gives There are some points, which that are important when if you are looking search for an employment.
The work time par for example is very important!
Finally you would like to have also You surely want spare time, in which you can do what you want. Also holidays plays a role. Finally you would like to drive in the holidays, with your family!
Therefore I couldn’t introduce me, This is why I could not imagine to be a famous person. Because t These people are very busyhave mostly only few spare time, for example by travelling around in the whole world. because they must to go from one place to another place, in the whole world.
Nevertheless often stars famous persons are Idols role models for young peoples. Of course, many young persons idols are their parents. have naturally also their parents as Idols, But I think that the young people want to be different sooner or later most want to be different as they.I thingk so too. This is even my opinionOk. At the end, I can say, that everyone must decide by himselfit alone what he wants like to do! And with this sentence I would like to finish my monolog! Thanks for listening!


3) Schule

The s School is a very important topic for us. Especially now, in the tenth class, these days when we're facing the examinations. where the examinations are.
Therefore, That's the reason why I will tell you something to you about the school and my daily life in school-life.

Für den letzten Teil habe ich keine Zeit mehr, vielleicht später am Abend.

Schau dir die Groß/Kleinschreibung nochmal an!

boert
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Beitrag von boert »

The sSchool is a very important topic for us. Especially now, in the tenth class, where that we are facing the examinations are. Therefore, I will tell you something to you about the school and my daily life in school-life. I structured my monolog as follows: At first, I will say tell you some general facts about the school.
Then, I will talk about my class and my school-life. As last, I will tell my plans for when I leave after the school.
We go into i'm studying at the Freifrau-von-Löwendal grammar school. The Dame Benedicta Margareta of Löwendal was a Danish-German noble aristocrat and originator of the Lauchhammer-works (??).
In honour of her, is a street in Lauchhammer and the Freifrau-von-Löwendal-grammar my school are named after her. Our school exists since was founded 1965. In 1991, our school was changed into became a grammar school at that time. About 700 students visit the grammar school Lauchhammer visits at the moment about 700 peoples.

We have not so do not have much events, but every year to at Christmas there is a Christmas-concert.

After every lesson, we always have 10 minutes break, and two times a longer one. What is not good is the schedule, that every half year changes. Actually, the whole school-system is dumb! (Englischer Satzbau wäre anzuraten)


In my class is always a relaxed atmosphere. Everyone is assessed fair and treated. Our teachers are all good, with a few exceptions that I would not like to name here. (Frau Kelle)
My favourite subject is German, because there is the most relaxed atmosphere.


French I doesn't like, because I can't it. (Siehe oben...)

Nevertheless the school time is good at this school and I like to come here. After the school, I would like to study direction or 3D Animation-Supervisor at the film-college in Baden-Württemberg. Why? Everyone in my class knows that I like to do films and to demonstrate to lectures. And with this sentence I would like to finish my monolog!

Hat dich die Lust verlassen während der letzten 40 Zeilen?
Im Vergleich zu oben ist das Obermüll und eigentlich eine Frechheit, dafür hier um Hilfe zu fragen.
Und bitte keine "Ich kann halt kein Englisch"-Argumente, oben ging es ja auch halbwegs.

Wie dem auch sei, viel Erfolg bei der Prüfung.

EnglishDummi
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Beitrag von EnglishDummi »

Erstmal Danke danke danke danke danke!!!!! :danke:

Ich bin so froh das du dich meinen Monologen angenommen hast.
Ja, ok, das unten mehr Fehler sind, liegt daran, das ich diese Anfang des Schuljahres geschrieben hatte, und der oberste ist mein letzter.

Trotzdem, ich bin total dankbar für deine Hilfe und deine Mühe.

Ich meld mich später nochmal,

Gruß,
EnglishDummi :)

boert
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Beitrag von boert »

Die letzten Zeilen habe ich ausgelassen.

Da sich bezüglich deiner Englisch-Kenntnisse ja über das Jahr scheinbar was getan hat, schlage ich vor du guckst dir die letzten Sätze noch einmal an.

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Beitrag von EnglishDummi »

So.....das kann nicht sein.... Meine Lehrerin hat sich umentschieden.....
Sie will doch nicht einen von diesen Monologen drannehmen.....Sondern den über Young Peoples Problems....
:( :|
Mmmpf....

Deswegen.....hast du vielleicht die Güte....bist du so nett und.... Könntest du vielleicht den auch nochmal kontrollieren wenn ich dich jetzt nett darum bitte :) ?
:angel: :angel: :angel: :question:

Hier: (das war übrigens mein allererster Monolog.....)

4) Young peoples Problems

The time between 12 and 18 years, is the time of the teenager. In this time children become adults. Naturally this time brings also many problems with itself. Some I would like to describe now. I have structured my monolog into the following points: At first I tell something over risks. Secondly I will tell something to typical problems of young people. And at last I will show you my opinion. First: Risks. The largest risks for young people are alcohol, drugs, smoking and the modern mass media. But why? Young people try out everything and become fast dependent on it For example smoking. I don’t smoke or I did not try out this! I am also much against cigarettes! It’s not good for health and all smoking die anyway sooner or later at cancer. I think earlier. Also alcohol is a problem: Young people drink gladly more than it would be good for them and lose then the control. I was already once drunk. The evening was not bad, but the morning after! From drugs I would not like to know. Each one who takes drugs has a problem and should be able to be helped medically. Also badly are the modem mass media. Also for me it would be badly to have no more Internet. Next I would like to say something about the typical problems of young people. Everyone had surely already once a family controversy. But as teenager it still more controversy gives. With me is not it different. Also problems at school are pretty often. Bad notes and mobbing belongs to the everyday life. Naturally there gives also good points in the time of the teenager. For example the first love and friendships. My own opinion. I think, the teenager time bring many problems and risks with itself, but in addition, many good things too. And each teenager should really enjoy this time. And with this sentence, I would like to finish my monolog!


Ich wäre dir so dankbar dafür..... :)

Viele Grüße,
EnglishDummi

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Bitte, ich brauch ihn möglichst schnell, morgen sind Prüfungen..... :shock:

EnglishDummi

boert
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Beitrag von boert »

Dass das dein allererster Monolog war ist nicht zu übersehen.

Korrektur hat so keinen Sinn, überarbeite ihn, dann schaue ich im Laufe des Tages/Abends drüber.

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Beitrag von EnglishDummi »

Mmmh....also ich hab getan was ich konnte.... :(

Da:

4) Young peoples Problems

The time between 12 and 18 years, is the time of the teenagers. In this time children become adults. Naturally this time brings also many problems with itself. Some of them I would like to describe now. I have structured my monolog into the following points: At first I will tell you something about the risks. Secondly I will tell you some typical problems of young people. And at last I will show you my own opinion. At First: The Risks. The (größten?? Wie drück ich das jetzt am besten aus?) risks for young people are drinking alcohol, taking drugs, smoking and the modern mass media. But why? Young people try out everything and become fast dependent on it For example smoking. I don’t smoke or I didn’t try out this! I am against cigarettes! It’s not good for the health and all smokers die at cancer, sooner or later. I think sooner. Also alcohol is a problem: Young people drink gladly more than it would be good for them and lose then the control. I was already once drunk. The evening was not bad, but the morning after! From drugs I wouldn’t know everything. Each one who takes drugs has a problem and should be helped medically. Also badly is the modem mass media. Also for me it would be badly to don’t have Internet. Now, I would like to say something about the typical problems of young people. Everyone had once a family controversy. But as teenager it gives more controversies. With me it is not different. Also problems at school are pretty often. Bad notes and mobbing are some problems at school. Naturally there are also good points in the time of the teenager. For example the first love and friendships. At last, my own opinion. I think, the teenager time brings many problems and risks with itself, but in addition, many good things too. And each teenager should really enjoy this time. And with this sentence, I would like to finish my monolog!


Bitte, ich brauch das wirklich dringend.....morgen früh sind Prüfungen und wenn ichs da noch nicht kann dann..... :(

Bitte erspar mir dieses Schicksal,
Danke, Danke, Danke,
Gruß,
EnglishDummi

boert
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Beitrag von boert »

The time between 12 and 18 years, is the time of the teenagers.

In this time c Children become adults. Naturally this time brings also many problems with itself.Some of them I would like to describe some of them now.

I have structured my monolog into the following points: At first I will tell you something about the risks. Secondly I will tell you some typical problems of young people. And at last I will show you my own opinion.

At First: The Risks. The biggest risks for young people are drinking alcohol, taking doing drugs, smoking and the modern mass media. But w Why?
Young people try out everything and might get addicted to it.become fast dependent on it.

For example smoking. I don’t smoke or I didn’t try out this!

I am against cigarettes! It’s not good for the health and all smokers die at cancer, sooner or later. I think sooner. (Beweis? Das Risiko ist höher, aber es sterben nicht alle...)

Also alcohol is a problem: Young people drink gladly more than it would be is good for them and. As a result, they lose then the control.

I was already drunk once drunk.

The evening was not bad, but the morning after! From drugs I wouldn’t know everything. (Ausdruck!) EachEveryone who takes does drugs has a problem and should be helped get helpmedically.

------------
Also badly is the modem mass media (Ausdruck).

Also for me it would be badly to don’t have Internet. Now, I would like to say something about the typical problems of young people.
-----------
Dieser ganze Teil ist sinnlos. Du lieferst ein einziges Statement, aber nichtmal im Ansatz eine Begründung.


Everyone had once a family controversy. But as a teenager it gives more controversies. With me it is not different. (Ausruck)

Also problems at school are pretty often commonly occuring.
Bad notes marks and mobbing are some problems at school.
Naturally Of course there are also good points during these timesof the teenager.

For example the first love and friendships. At last, my own opinionpersonal point: I think, the teenager time brings many problems and risks with itself, but in addition, many good things too. And each every teenager should really enjoy this time. And w With this sentence, I would like to finish my monolog!

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Beitrag von EnglishDummi »

:danke:

So. Jetzt bin ich gerettet. :wink:
boert hat geschrieben:(Beweis? Das Risiko ist höher, aber es sterben nicht alle...)
Hast schon recht, aber ich wollte halt meine Abneigung zum Ausdruck bringen. :P Aber lohnt sich echt mal nachzuforschen....
boert hat geschrieben:Dieser ganze Teil ist sinnlos. Du lieferst ein einziges Statement, aber nichtmal im Ansatz eine Begründung.
Hast recht....da bring ich noch was rein. ^^

Obwohl der Ausdruck warscheinlich das schlimmste bei mir ist, trotzdem Danke das du dir die Zeit genommen hast! :wink:

Vielen, vielen Dank! :danke:

Ciao,
EnglishDummi

boert
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Beitrag von boert »

Kein Thema, viel Erfolg!

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