Im looking for a person who can correct my englisch text

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Pieps
Bilingual Newbie
Beiträge: 2
Registriert: 25. Aug 2006 20:29

Im looking for a person who can correct my englisch text

Beitrag von Pieps »

In school i had to write an ending of a short story....Can somebody correct my mistakes?? It would be very nice. :spin:
greeting Pieps

The text:
But she was wrong. Suddenly the man looked up straight into her eyes. She felt that her heart doesn’t stop to beat quickly. She thought to ask him for the price of the tickets to drive to Hollywood but she couldn’t say any word. At that moment her rescue came because a bus arrives at the bus station so that the man turned his look away from her. She felt ashamed and that’s why she began to run the street downstairs away from the bus station and the man. She didn’t run a long way because she stumpled over a stone and felt down. There lied the ticket. She took it. It was a ticket to go to Hollywood. That ticket was already cashed but in one of the edge of the ticket stood the price for the fare to Hollywood. She felt happy that she now knew how much it costs to go to Hollywood but suddenly he stood in front of her smiling. The young Ford salesman asked her if she had come to a decision if she will accept his proposal of marriage. She didn’t know what she should answer because she didn’t come to a decision yet. But then she saw a woman with two little children who were very whiny lots of bags and a baby carriage. Since that moment she knew that this is not the way to life she wants to live. She refused Ford salesman’s proposal of marriage. She enclosed the ticket with her hand firmly and turned on her heel’s to go home and pack her bags to go to Hollywood. He said goodbye to her with the words that he will wait for her.




boert

Beitrag von boert »

But she was wrong. Suddenly the man looked up straight into her eyes. She felt that her heart didn't stop to beat quickly (meaning of the sentence?). She thought about asking him for the price of the tickets to drive to Hollywood, but she couldn’t say a word.

At that moment her rescue came because a bus arrived at the bus station so that the man turned his look away from her.

She felt ashamed and that’s why she began to run down the street , away from the bus station and the man.
She didn’t run a long way because she stumpled over a stone and felt down. There lay the ticket.

She took it. It was a ticket to go to Hollywood. That ticket was already cashed but in one of the edge of the ticket stood the price for the fare to Hollywood. She felt happy that she now knew how much it costs to go to Hollywood but suddenly he stood in front of her smiling.

The young Ford salesman asked her if she had come to a decision if she accepts his proposal of marriage. She didn’t know what to answer because she didn’t come to a decision yet.
But then she saw a woman with two little children who were very whiny, lots of bags and a baby carriage. Since that moment she knew that this was not the way of life she wants to live.
She refused Ford salesman’s proposal of marriage. She enclosed the ticket with her hand firmly and turned on her heel’s to go home and pack her bags to go to Hollywood.
He said goodbye to her and told her that he will wait for her.

Pieps
Bilingual Newbie
Beiträge: 2
Registriert: 25. Aug 2006 20:29

Beitrag von Pieps »

Thank you for your help!!! :D

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