English short Story! Vocabulary and Grammar right???? help

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KillaBees
Bilingual Newbie
Beiträge: 5
Registriert: 23. Sep 2005 18:08
Wohnort: Paderborn

English short Story! Vocabulary and Grammar right???? help

Beitrag von KillaBees »

Hi ich muss für montag einn text abgeben mit min 100 Wörtern.
Da mein Englisch nicht gerade gut ist wäre ich SEHR dankbar wenn jemand meinen text mal kurz durchlesen könnte und mal gucken könnte ab die vokabeln und die zeiten richtig sind??? für ein paar verbesserungen wäre ich auch nicht abgeneigt.

war mir bei break für brechen/kotzen nich so sicher z.B. da es ja eigentlich im zusammenhang mit durchbrechen stht

PLZ help ;)

On Sunday 25.09 I had my 25th birthday. I have purely celebrated from Saturday on Sunday,
because many guests Monday had to get up again early. my guests came about at 18 o'clock
to me. We played some party games,dart and drank naturally also something.
After a few Beers, a good friend of me felt very badly, he even had to break.
After he had slept, it was better to him. I received a lot of presents:
pants, cds, a computer game, some money and some other things.
It was a very funny evening.When it became 12 o'clock, all got up and sang a song for me.
this was already quite unpleasantly for me, but this just belongs to it.
at 4 o'clock in the morning the last guests went home and, at last, I could also lie down.
It was really very beautiful and everybody will remember the evening still long.




Kassandra
Bilingual Newbie
Beiträge: 5
Registriert: 21. Sep 2005 08:06

Beitrag von Kassandra »

hi, mein Englisch ist zwar auch nicht so gut, aber ich kann ja einen Anfang machen ...


On Sunday September 25th I had my 25th birtday.

von ... bis --> from to // purely wird i.S.v. rein, schlicht verwendet

we just celebrated from Saturday to Sunday because many guests had to get up early on Monday.

im Englischen gibt es kein 13 (1) 24 Uhr --> 1pm 2 pm ... 12 pm

my guests joint the party at about 6pm

natürlich = of course

... of course we also had some drinks.

sich schlecht / krank fühlen --> to feel sick
brechen --> to vomit

After a few drinks a good friend of mine began to feel really sick, he even had to vomit.

But already after one night of sleeping he was well again.

I received a lot of presents: pants, cds, a computer game, some money and some other things.
It was a very funny evening.When it became 12 o'clock, all got up and sang a song for me.
this was quite unpleasantly for me, but this just belongs to it.
at 4 o'clock in the morning the last guests went home and I could finally lie down.
The party was really very beautiful and everybody will remember the evening for a long time.

Das wars erst einmal von mir. Wenn noch jemand Verbesserungsvorschläge hat, nur zu
liebe Grüße
Kassandra

KillaBees
Bilingual Newbie
Beiträge: 5
Registriert: 23. Sep 2005 18:08
Wohnort: Paderborn

Beitrag von KillaBees »

Vielen Dank :wink:

Ich hab das jetzt mal so aufs Papier gebracht mit deinen Korekturen.
Falls noch jemand was zu bemängeln hat, bitte schreibt es hier rein!

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