What shall I do? Life's hard

[Jefferson1992]

Hello everybody,

I have a big, big problem and I hope you can understand my problem and help me to get what I wanted.

My problem is my love...

but before I explain you why, I will inform you about the situation.

All began with my application in the newspaper. I wanted to give tutoring to other pupils in math and english. At the next day the phone rang and I received a call from a very friendly mother, who explained me, that her daughter has big problems in maths and I should help her. I said yes, okay, no problem, fine. So I went to her 3 days later and I think it was love at first sight. During the tutoring I talked to her about her teachers and about her friends and I was their for 4 hours, actually I had to teach her 1 hour.
We directly embrace and like each other.
Then next day at school we embrace again and talk and laugh and so on... ( She is at my school), it was a wonderful feeling to be with her.
Following week I was there again and we did 1 hour tutoring and then we held hands and after talking and laughing much I kissed her...
It was wonderful... Since this kiss we were a couple and I thought eventual I have my dreamgirl.
I went back home... and then I received an SMS of my new dreamgirl.
Sorry. But I am not ready for this. Please understand me. Sorry.

I was devastated... I thought about the sense of life... I wanted my life to end...

That was the story...

and today she writes anytime that she misses me and that she wants to be by myself, but I don't know what to do...
because she is 13 years old, I am 18 years old. I don't know if it's allowed for us to be a couple...
Another problem is that she is on one day of the opinion that a relationship would be strange and not good, but on the next day she says again how much she loves me and so on...

What shall I do?

Thank you

[tiorthan]

Zuvorderst hast du hier ein Problem mit dem Gesetzgeber. Das Alter ab dem ein Jugendlicher nach dem Gesetzgeber sein Einverständnis zu :censored: Handlungen geben kann ist 14, und Küssen kann in diesem Zusammenhang durchaus dazu zählen.

[Delfino]

Hello everybody,

I have a big, big problem and I hope you can understand my problem and help me to get what I wanted.

What do you want? I guess, you are a human beeing and therefore pursue happiness.

My problem is my love...

but before I explain you why, I will describe you the situation.

Everything began with my ad in the newspaper. I offered to provide supporting lessions for other pupils in math and English.
On the next day the phone rang and I received a call from a very friendly mother, who explained to me, that her daughter has big problems in maths
and I should help her. I said yes, okay, no problem, fine...
So I went to her 3 days later. I think, it was love at first sight. During the tutoring I talked to her about her teachers and her friends.
In the end I was their for 4 hours, although I had to teach her for only 1 hour.
We directly felt a genuine connection, embraced and liked each other.
Then next day at school we hugged again and talked and laughed and so on... ( She is at my school)
It was a wonderful feeling to be with her.
In the following week I went to her again and I thought her for 1 hour.
Then we held hands and after a lot of talking and laughing I kissed her. You should hold your desires back at all times!
It was just wonderful...
Since that kiss we were a couple and I started to think that I might have found the girl of my dreams.
I went back home and later on I received a text with the following message from her:

"Sorry. But I am not ready for this. Please understand me. Sorry."

I was devastated. I thought about the purpose of life. I thought about ending my life.

That was the situation.

But today she wrote me that she misses me all the time and that she wants to be with me,
but I don't know what to do because she is only 13 while I am 18 years old.
I don't know if it's allowed for us to be a couple...

I think, there is a another problem because her opinion changed significantly from one day to the next one.
First she thought a relationship would be strange and not good, but then she said she misses me
and told me how much she loves me and so on...

What shall I do?

Thank you

Well, you should consider to teach only math and not English at least for now.

You should keep in mind that you are significantly older. Therefore you are more mature
and probably more experienced in terms of relationships. So don't expext her to act
like a girl of your age. She is probably very surprised by these new feelings and admires
you, the math guru.

I know, it is not legal for you to have a sexual relationship with her. So I strongly recommend
you to go no further than holding hands and maybe letting her kiss you. You should never take
the initative and avoid to go beyond at all costs.
Otherwise you are breaking the law and are punashible for child molestation and rape
because she is to young and not because she didn't agree.

Show your admiration for her by respecting that this situation won't change for several years.
Tell her that you can and will wait for her to be old enough.

Although she likes you a lot, she might also feel a bit confused because everything went a bit to fast.
So you should keep a very slow pace with your relationship and avoid kissing in public places.
Most (adult) people don't expext you two to be able to hold back when you are alone - rumors start easily.

So for her sake take your time to be good friends, get to know each other, talk more and
have fun doing things together (sport, cinema, etc.).

Remember you got your whole life ahead of you.
So you don't want to jeopardise everything by losing control of your feelings.

Your happiness should depend on her being happy - give her time to grow up.

[Jefferson1992]

Is my english so bad?

[Delfino]

Is my English so bad?

You should keep an eye on some of the details.
Remember, you agreed to the forum rules
which expect you to proof read your message before posting here.

[Jefferson1992]

okay. I will remember to proof read my text next time. Thank you very much.

I decided to tell her that a relationship would be probably very difficult, and she seemed to understand it. I hope so.
Why do people always fall in love with the wrong people? Difficult question, isn't it?

[Delfino]

You should continue teaching her. So she doesn't feel totally abandoned at the moment.
But limit the time you spend together - don't overstay or it'll be hard to hold back your feelings.


Why do people always fall in love with the wrong people?

Well, because probably there was something about them
that attracted you at first - before you got to know them better.

Because that person leads you to the right person not always right away -
but down the road...

So many reasons... some are willing to "settle". We grow up, and away from another person.
What we thougth we saw, was just an illusion, and they aren't what we hoped they'd be.
Some go into a relationship thinking they will change the other person (never happens).
If you want to though, you can say you've never fallen in love with the wrong person.
That everyone is put into our lifes for a reason, even if they are only there for a short time.
I like that...

http://www.dearcupid.org/question/why-d ... wrong.html

http://answers.yahoo.com/question/index ... 319AAEkBMM

All answers in this post were found by asking Psy.D. Google

[Mikey_H]

I look at things this way:
Most things like this aren't "meant to be"
however you can always see that they are "meant to HAPPEN"

We live and we learn.

You are so young, I was so madly in love with someone when I was 18 years old... and I had that love for almost 2 years. We never went farther than just friends, although we did flirt here and there.
Eventually the feeling went away...

And just last year I met somebody new who absolutely took my heart away. I never thought I could love a person so much, and I thought I was in heaven once we got together and became a couple. However it did not last more than 6 months. We both are leading different lives and it was just time to move on, even though I probably cried for hours on end. Partly, I realized that deep down, I didn't want to be "tied down" to any single person because I'm only 22! I have so many personal dreams and ambitions, I need to focus on my one true love.. MYSELF!

I know you will be hurting and you will feel the pain, but you have to focus on yourself.

I can't say too much about your age difference, but since she's so young I would say it's best to let her go. She is far too young and if she personally told you she is not ready, then the best thing you can do for HER is to let her live. She is still growing and you can use this experience to make yourself stronger. And who knows... she may grow from that experience as well, but when somebody is 13 they are going through a lot of changes in their life.

I know I am writing a lot, but I hope it helps