Motivationsschreiben

[blauesbluemchen]

Hallo!!

Ich würde gerne nächstes jahr als Deutsch- Sprachassistent nach England gehen und dazu muss ich zusätzlich zum deutschen Motivationsschreiben auch ein englisches schreiben. Habe das jetzt mal probiert und hoffe jemand kann mir das korrigieren.. bin bei vielen Dingen nicht sicher ob man das im englischen so sagen kann..


About my interest in Great Britain

During a foreign-language-week in the 11^th grade of the high school I came to England for the first time. We spent seven days in Exeter and then we went by bus to London, where we stayed for another week. During the whole residence we lived by host families. Through this two, very different, weeks I got a first impression of the UK. From the first day on I was pleasantly surprised. Especially the friendliness of the people and the beauty of the country stayed in my mind. Unfortunately I had in the meantime no possibility to come again to Great Britain and I think to work as a foreign- language- assistant is a excellent chance to become acquainted with this land and it’s people.


About my interest in working as a foreign language assistant

Since I began to study I think of going abroad. But with my subjects, I never found a good opportunity. I didn’t want to go in another country and to nothing meaningful. Last year I heart about the possibility to go to abroad by teaching children the German language and from the first moment I was enthusiastic. I think this is the perfect facility to combine my passion in working with children and with an interesting experience abroad. During this stay I would have the chance to learn much about the people and the land, while gaining considerable work experience.

About my strengths and weaknesses

I’m sociable, optimistic and open- minded about new things, so it’s not difficult for me, to get in contact with other people. Additional I’m communicative and my friends describe me as very active. My three very different subjects at university longing for large flexibility but also give me the variation I need. In my employment as handballtrainer I learned many important things to work with children and collected many different experiences. My intention in training is always that the children have fun and get in movement, but it was not always easy to motivate the girls and boys and to become accepted. The talents to motivate children and to be an authority were also very useful through my job as Ferienbetreuer??. In this job also Teamwork, creativity and reliability were important character characteristics.


I’m very sportive and I think that’s helps me in many different situations. Sport will be an important part of my profession and my live. But Sport also helps me to find new friends, to build characteristics like perseverance, discipline and will power.

I think that it wont be difficult form e to work as foreign- language assistant, because I have much experience in working with children and I always loved to work with them.

About my professional objective

Anyway I want to finish all three subjects at university and then work as teacher in school.
During the remaining period at university I want to try out different things and to learn new skills in many distinct parts of live. The years of study are perfect to make further trainings, which are important in the later job? I have a big interest in sports educations but also in the study course „German as foreign language“.
Was meint ihr dazu??

[Delfino]

Hallo!!

Ich würde gerne nächstes jahr als Sprachassistent für Deutsch nach England gehen.
Dazu muss ich zusätzlich zum deutschen Motivationsschreiben auch ein Englisches abgeben.
Ich habe jetzt einen Entwurf und hoffe jemand kann mir dieses Schreiben korrigieren.
Ich bin mir bei vielen Dingen nicht sicher ob man das so im Englischen sagen kann.


About my interest in Great Britain

I've been to England for the first time during a foreign-language-week when I was in the 11^th grade.
We spent seven days in Exeter and then (we) took a bus to London, where we stayed for another week.
During the whole time we lived in host families. / We lived in host families for the whole time.
Throughout these two very different weeks I was able to gain a first impression of the UK.
From the first day on I was pleasantly surprised.
Especially the friendliness of the people and the beauty of the country stayed in my mind.
Unfortunately I had no further possibility to go to Great Britan.
But I think that working as a foreign language assistant is a excellent chance to become more familiar with this land and it’s people.


About my interest in working as a foreign language assistant

Since I began my studies I'm thinking of going abroad.
Unfortunately I've never found a good opportunity that matched my set of subjects.
I always wanted to go to another country and do something meaningful.
Last year I heard about the possibility to go abroad to teach children the German language and from the first moment I was enthusiastic about the idea.
I think, this is the perfect opportunity to combine my passion in working with children and with an interesting experience abroad.
During my stay I would have the chance to learn much more about the people and the land, while gaining considerable work experience.


About my strengths and weaknesses

I’m sociable, optimistic and open-minded about new things.
Therefore it’s not difficult for me to get in contact with other people. (to do what?)
Additionally I’m communicative and my friends describe me as very active. (any particular sport / regularly?)

Longing for a large flexibility I choose three very different subjects at university
which allows me to gain knowledge / work in a variaty of areas.

During my employment as handball coach I gained first-hand experience in working with children.
My intention in training is always that the children have fun and get motivated.
Although it was not always easy to motivate the girls and boys to accepted team members with different skill levels.
My talent to motivate children and to be an authority were also very useful when I worked as a child minder during the (summer) holidays.
In this job also Teamwork, creativity and reliability were important character characteristics.
I’m very athletic and that is helpful in many different situations.
I think, sport will always be an important part of my profession and my live.
Sport also helps me to find new friends and to develop key character traits like perseverance, discipline and will power.

I think, that it wont be to difficult for me to work as foreign language assistant,
because I have a lot of experience in working with children and I always loved to work with them.


About my professional objective

Anyway, I want to finish all three subjects at university and then work as teacher in a (local / Secondary /...) school.
During the remaining period at university I will try out a few new things in distinct parts of my live.
The years of study are perfect to gain further knowledge and skills, which can be very useful in a later job.
I have a big interest in sports educations but also in the study course „German as a foreign language“.

I hope this helps, but please proofread your post before you submit it next time.
Remember, most English people use shorter sentences than the Germans.

Please inform yourself about the difference betwenn motivation and movement.
e.g. Prof Fredrick Herzberg's Theory of Motivation:

[Duckduck]

Hallo!!

Hi Delfino und blauesbluemchen! Ich streiche noch ein paar Fehlerchen an, die mir aufgefallen sind, aber am Stil verändere ich nichts mehr.

Ich würde gerne nächstes jahr als Sprachassistent für Deutsch nach England gehen.
Dazu muss ich zusätzlich zum deutschen Motivationsschreiben auch ein Englisches abgeben.
Ich habe jetzt einen Entwurf und hoffe jemand kann mir dieses Schreiben korrigieren.
Ich bin mir bei vielen Dingen nicht sicher ob man das so im Englischen sagen kann.


About my interest in Great Britain
1. Keine "contractions" (Kurzformen) in offiziellen Briefen!

I went to England for the first time during a foreign-language-week when I was in the 11^th grade.
We spent seven days in Exeter and then (we) took a bus to London, where we stayed for another week.
During the whole time we lived in host families. / We lived in host families for the whole time.
Throughout these two very different weeks I was able to gain a first impression of the UK.
From the first day on I was pleasantly surprised.
Especially the friendliness of the people and the beauty of the country stayed in my mind.
Unfortunately, I had no further possibility to go to Great Britan.
But I think that working as a foreign language assistant is an excellent chance to become more familiar with this country and its people.


About my interest in working as a foreign language assistant

Ever since I began my studies I have been thinking of going abroad.
Unfortunately, for a long time, I could not find a good opportunity that would match my set of subjects.
I have always wanted to go to another country and do something meaningful.
Last year I heard about the possibility to go abroad to teach children the German language and from the first moment I was enthusiastic about the idea.
I think this is the perfect opportunity to combine my delight?? ("passion" würde ich im Zusammenhang mit der Arbeit mit Kindern vermeiden!) in working with children and with an interesting experience abroad.
During my stay I would have the chance to learn much more about the people and the country, while gaining considerable work experience at the same time.


About my strengths and weaknesses

I am sociable, optimistic and open-minded about new things.
Therefore, it is not difficult for me to get in contact with other people. (to do what?)
Additionally I am communicative and my friends describe me as very active. (any particular sport / regularly?)

Longing for a large flexibility I choose three very different subjects at university
which allows me to gain knowledge / work in a variety of areas.

While working as a handball coach I gained first-hand experience in working with children.
My intention in training has always been that the children have fun and get motivated.
Although it was not always easy to motivate the girls and boys to accepted team members with different skill levels.
My talent to motivate children and to be an authority were also very useful when I worked as a child minder during the (summer) holidays.
In this job teamwork, creativity and reliability were just as important as in the training of children.
I am very athletic and that is helpful in many different situations.
I think sport will always be an important part of my profession and my life.
Sport has also helped me to find new friends and to develop key character traits like perseverance, discipline and will power.

I am convinced that it will not be too difficult for me to work as a foreign language assistant,
because I have a lot of experience in working with children and I have always loved working with them.


About my professional objective

My plan is to finish all three subjects at university and then work as a teacher in a (local / Secondary /...) school.
During the remaining period at university I will try out a few new things in distinct parts of my life. (Diesen Satz finde ich irgendwie "fishy", so als wolltest Du SM oder Kokain ausprobieren . Würde ich umformulieren oder weglassen.)
The years of study are perfect to gain further knowledge and skills, which can be very useful in a later job.
I have a big interest in physical education but also in the study course "German as a foreign language“.

I hope this helps, but please proofread your post before you submit it next time.
Remember, most English people use shorter sentences than the Germans.

Please inform yourself about the difference betwenn motivation and movement.
e.g. Prof Fredrick Herzberg's Theory of Motivation:

Ich habe nur in den wirklich heftigen Fällen stilistisch etwas angemerkt. Insgesamt ist der Brief nicht schlecht, aber natürlich könnte man einiges "eleganter" ausdrücken. Ich denke allerdings, dass er ja auch noch einen Hauch von Deiner tatsächlichen derzeitigen Sprachfähigkeit zeigen sollte.

Viel Glück
Duckduck

[Delfino]

Vielen Dank Duckduck für die Korrektur der Fehler, die ich übersehen habe.
Ich dachte gerade noch einmal Korrektur zu lesen - aber das hast du ja schon getan.

"Ich denke allerdings, dass er ja auch noch einen Hauch von Deiner tatsächlichen derzeitigen Sprachfähigkeit zeigen sollte."

Dem möchte ich mich hiermit anschließen.

[blauesbluemchen]

Hallo!!

Also erstmals vielen, vielen Dank für die Hilfe..

Das Motivationsschreiben muss natürlich nicht perfekt und elegant geschrieben sein und soll natürlich noch einen Hauch von meiner tatsächlichen derzeitigen Sprachfähigkeit zeigen..
Ein paar kleine Fragen hätte ich aber noch:

Im Mittelteil schrieb ich:
„My intention in training is always that the children have fun and get in movement, but it was not always easy to motivate the girls and boys and to become accepted“
Du hast es ausgebessert auf:
My intention in training has always been that the children have fun and get motivated.
Although it was not always easy to motivate the girls and boys to accepted team members with different skill levels.

Ich glaube ich meinte was anderes, weiß aber nicht wie ich es formulieren soll:
Meine Ziel im Training ist es, dass die Kinder Spaß haben und in Bewegung kommen/ sich möglichst viel bewegen. Es ist nicht immer leicht, die Mädchen und Buben zu motivieren und selbst als Autorität akzeptiert zu werden.



Dann schrieb ich:
My three very different subjects at university longing for large flexibility but also give me the variation I need.
Ausgebessert:
Longing for a large flexibility I choose three very different subjects at university
which allows me to gain knowledge / work in a variety of areas.
Bin mir auch nicht sicher.. ich meinte, dass meine drei Fächer an der Universität von mir viel Flexibilität verlangen und mir aber auch die Abwechslung bieten, die ich brauche.



DANKE NOCHMAL

[blauesbluemchen]

ach ja eine Frage hätt ich fast vergessen..

kann ich die Zwischenüberschriften nicht so lassen?
also: about my interest in great Britain..

Ist "Why I want to go to Great Britain" besser?

[Duckduck]

Hallo!!

Also erstmals vielen, vielen Dank für die Hilfe..

Hi blauesblümchen, typischer Fall von Doppelkorrektur. Ich habe gar nicht mehr Deinen Text korrigiert, sondern den bereits vorher von Delfino korrigierten. Meine Korrekturen sind die roten und die grünen, das Fettgedruckte ist von Delfino, dazu soll er dann auch was sagen.

Das Motivationsschreiben muss natürlich nicht perfekt und elegant geschrieben sein und soll natürlich noch einen Hauch von meiner tatsächlichen derzeitigen Sprachfähigkeit zeigen..
Ein paar kleine Fragen hätte ich aber noch:

Im Mittelteil schrieb ich:
„My intention in training is always that the children have fun and get in movement, but it was not always easy to motivate the girls and boys and to become accepted“
Du hast es ausgebessert auf:
My intention in training has always been (Present Perfect, weil in der Vergangenheit und heute auch noch) that the children have fun and (get to) move their bodies as much as possible.
It was not always easy to motivate the girls and boys and to be accepted as a person of authority.

Ich glaube ich meinte was anderes, weiß aber nicht wie ich es formulieren soll:
Meine Ziel im Training ist es, dass die Kinder Spaß haben und in Bewegung kommen/ sich möglichst viel bewegen. Es ist nicht immer leicht, die Mädchen und Buben zu motivieren und selbst als Autorität akzeptiert zu werden.



Dann schrieb ich:
My three very different subjects at university longing for large flexibility but also give me the variation I need.
Ausgebessert:
Longing for a large flexibility I choose three very different subjects at university
which allows me to gain knowledge / work in a variety of areas.
Bin mir auch nicht sicher.. ich meinte, dass meine drei Fächer an der Universität von mir viel Flexibilität verlangen und mir aber auch die Abwechslung bieten, die ich brauche.
Ja, OK, da hat Delfino Dich falsch verstanden, weil Du ein falsches englisches Wort gewählt hast: das Verlangen (= Sehnen) heißt auf englisch "longing", aber das ist, wenn Dich das Verlangen nach einer Currywurst schüttelt, ja? Das Verb "verlangen" heißt: "demand, require" o.ä.
Also:
The three different subjects I have chosen do require a lot of flexibility, but they also give me the variety I need.


DANKE NOCHMAL

[Delfino]

...die Abwechslung bieten, die ich brauche.
"brauche" - Wofür?

Vielleicht möchtest du die drei Fächer auch im Motivationsschreiben explizit erwähnen - nur so ein Gedanke...

longing for something = das Verlangen / die Sensucht nach etwas (also nicht nur der Hunger... )
e.g.: a longing for peace and reconciliation...

[blauesbluemchen]

Hallo!!

Nochmals danke für die Hilfe.. ein paar kleine Fragen hätt ich noch..

1. kann ich die Zwischenüberschriften nicht so lassen?
also: about my interest in great Britain..

Ist "Why I want to go to Great Britain" besser?

2. Im Lebenslauf brauche ich eine Übersetzung für "Matura/Abitur mit ausgezeichnetem Erfolg bestanden? kann ich "School leaving examination
passed with honours" schreiben?
3. Soll ich im Lebenslauf einfach BG/BRG schreiben oder ist high school eine annähernd richtige Übersetzung für Gymnasium?



4. Weiß jemand was SOzialhilfeverband auf englisch heißt??


Dank im Voraus

[tiorthan]

Ist "Why I want to go to Great Britain" besser?

Ich finde es besser.

2. Im Lebenslauf brauche ich eine Übersetzung für "Matura/Abitur mit ausgezeichnetem Erfolg bestanden? kann ich "School leaving examination
passed with honours" schreiben?
3. Soll ich im Lebenslauf einfach BG/BRG schreiben oder ist high school eine annähernd richtige Übersetzung für Gymnasium?

High School ist im Englischen ein viel zu schwammiger Begriff, vor allem in England, wo der Gebrauch von County zu County völlig unterschiedlich sein kann. Die Begriffe Matura, Abitur und Gymnasium würde ich im Lebenslauf so lassen und eventuell nur erläutern:

Abitur/Matura sind mit den Britischen A-Levels vergleichbar

4. Weiß jemand was SOzialhilfeverband auf englisch heißt??

Ich weiß nicht einmal, was das auf Deutsch bedeutet.