Englisch Texte

Alles was zum Lernen gehört.
How to learn effectively.
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Steffen637
Bilingual Newbie
Beiträge: 4
Registriert: 23. Jul 2010 16:18
Muttersprache: Deutsch

Englisch Texte

Beitrag von Steffen637 »

Hello members of the forum

I want you to help for the correction of my self-written textes. So it would be nice if you can help me with your knowledge, and of course you can give me tipps in common.

First text:

The internet is an recent topic since several years. Many people use the internet today. It is in use for the job or just the school. It makes it possible to search fast for things which the owner of it needs. There are one mor reason why it is so famous. Many people have a flat rate and use the internet monthly for the same price. So they can check the web for new music, clothes or other sings which they need. But it has negative aspects too. There is over 50 % memory of the internet in use for . So that parents have to use a filter for it, that there kids can`t see this content.

Second text

To go on a journey is what the most people do every year at the time of summer holidays. For them it is important too see new areas of land at foreign countrys. But there are some people too, who stay at home and use the regional ways to relax and calm down after their work. In common it is necessary to think about the usage of the own holidays. If someone do this not, a burnout can be the result of it.

Nice wishes Steffen




joy
Story Teller
Beiträge: 412
Registriert: 7. Nov 2009 07:47
Muttersprache: deutsch

Re: Englisch Texte

Beitrag von joy »

I want you to help me with the correction of my self-written texts. So it would be nice if you could help me with your knowledge, and of course if you could give me some useful tips in common.

First text:

The Internet has become one of the most popular topic for several years. Today, many people use the Internet for the job or just for school. It makes it possible to find the things which the Internet owner is looking for. There is one more reason why it is so famous. Many people can use the Internet to make the monthly payments for their rents. Also, they can check the web for new music, clothes or other things which they need. But it has negative aspects too. There is over 50 % memory of the Internet in use for. (verstehe ich nicht so recht) So that parents have to use a filter for it, that there kids can't see this content.

Second text

To go on a journey is what the most people do every year during their summer holidays. For them it is important to get to see other landscapes in foreign countries. (or: abroad) But some people stay at home and work during their holydays, i.e. they only relax and calm down as usual after their work.
In general it can be said that it is necessary to think about the usage of the holidays. If someone doesn't do this, a burnout can be the result of it.

Nice wishes Steffen

Hi Steffen
Von mir aus gesehen dürfte noch mehr präzisiert werden, was für Gedanken man sich über die Ferien machen sollte. Ich hoffe, dass du mit meiner Version etwas anfangen kannst.
Grüsse
joy

Liebe Grüsse joy


Alex2010
Frequent Typer
Beiträge: 169
Registriert: 28. Mär 2010 18:27
Muttersprache: German
Wohnort: Baden-Württemberg / Germany

Re: Englisch Texte

Beitrag von Alex2010 »

Hallo Steffen637,
Hallo joy,

ich habe auch noch etwas gefunden:
(meine Verbesserungen sind pink)
Steffen637 hat geschrieben:Today, many people use the Internet for the job or just for school.(oder wahlweise: ...Today, many people use the Internet for their job or ....)

Steffen637 hat geschrieben:So that parents should use a filter for it, that their kids can't see this content.

Steffen637 hat geschrieben:In general it can be said that it is necessary to think about the usage of the holidays.


Liebe Grüße,
Alex :uppy:

Duckduck
Anglo Master
Beiträge: 3686
Registriert: 1. Okt 2009 14:25
Muttersprache: Deutsch

Re: Englisch Texte

Beitrag von Duckduck »

joy hat geschrieben:I want you to help me with the correction of my self-written texts. So it would be nice if you could help me with your knowledge, and of course if you could give me some useful tips in common.

First text:

The Internet has become one of the most popular topics during the last several years. Today, many people use the Internet for the job or just for school. It makes it possible to find the things which the Internet owner is looking for. There is one more reason why it is so famous. Many people can use the Internet to make the monthly payments for their rents. Also, they can check the web for new music, clothes or other things which they need. But it has negative aspects too. There is over 50 % memory of the Internet in use for. (verstehe ich nicht so recht) (Nach längerem Draufgucken scheint es mir, dass der Satz ein Wort enthielt, das :censored: ist, nämlich das dreibuchstabige mit vorne s und hinten x. Abgesehen davon würde ich ihn umformulieren: There is a huge amount of content available there that isn't suitable for the eyes and ears of children.
So that parents have to use a filter in order to make sure that there kids can't see it.

Second text

To go on a journey is what the most people do every year during their summer holidays. For them it is important to get to see other places in foreign countries. (or: abroad) But some people stay at home and work during their holydays, i.e. they only relax and calm down as usual after their work.
In general it can be said that it is necessary to think about the required effect??? of the holidays. If someone doesn't do this, a burnout can be the result of it.

Best wishes Steffen

Hi Steffen
Von mir aus gesehen dürfte noch mehr präzisiert werden, was für Gedanken man sich über die Ferien machen sollte. Ich hoffe, dass du mit meiner Version etwas anfangen kannst.
Grüsse
joy

Sehr schöne Korrektur, joy!!! :freu: :freu: :freu:

EDIT: Haha, Alex! Meine sind auch pink. Na, da hat Steffen ja was vor sich, wenn er das auseinanderklamüsern will! :roll: :lol:
Mein Farbcode für Korrekturen:
Fehler / Stil/Ausdruck / Anmerkung

joy
Story Teller
Beiträge: 412
Registriert: 7. Nov 2009 07:47
Muttersprache: deutsch

Re: Englisch Texte

Beitrag von joy »

Danke Duckduck und Alex. Jetzt ist alles klar!
:talk1:
joy

Liebe Grüsse joy


tiorthan
Lingo Whiz
Beiträge: 2810
Registriert: 13. Jun 2010 01:36
Muttersprache: de, (pl)

Re: Englisch Texte

Beitrag von tiorthan »

Duckduck hat geschrieben:There is a huge amount of content available there that isn't suitable for the eyes and ears of children.
Or maybe shorter: There is a huge amount of adult content available.
Although that's not as extensive as your wording, IMO.
You're never too old to learn something stupid.
MistakeSuggestionYou sure that's right?

caro64
Frequent Typer
Beiträge: 219
Registriert: 1. Jun 2010 12:39
Muttersprache: Englisch
Wohnort: Bayern

Re: Englisch Texte

Beitrag von caro64 »

Duckduck hat geschrieben:
joy hat geschrieben:I want you to help me with the correction of my self-written texts. So it would be nice if you could help me with your knowledge, and of course if you could give me some useful tips in common.

First text:

The Internet has become one of the most popular topics during the last several years. Today, many people use the Internet for the job or just for school. It makes it possible to find the things which the Internet owner is looking for. There is one more reason why it is so famous. popular, many people can use the Internet to make the monthly payments for their rents. Also, they can check the web for new music, clothes or other things which they need. But it has negative aspects too. There is over 50 % memory of the Internet in use for. (verstehe ich nicht so recht) (Nach längerem Draufgucken scheint es mir, dass der Satz ein Wort enthielt, das :censored: ist, nämlich das dreibuchstabige mit vorne s und hinten x. Abgesehen davon würde ich ihn umformulieren: There is a huge amount of content available there that isn't suitable for the eyes and ears of children.
So that parents have to use a filter in order to make sure that there kids can't see it.

Second text

To go on a journey is what the most people do every year during their summer holidays. For them it is important to get to see other places in foreign countries. (or: abroad) But some people stay at home and work during their holydays, i.e. they only relax and calm down as usual after their work.
In general it can be said that it is necessary to think about the required effect??? of the holidays. If someone doesn't do this, a burnout can be the result of it.

Best wishes Steffen

Hi Steffen
Von mir aus gesehen dürfte noch mehr präzisiert werden, was für Gedanken man sich über die Ferien machen sollte. Ich hoffe, dass du mit meiner Version etwas anfangen kannst.
Grüsse
joy


Sehr schöne Korrektur, joy!!! :freu: :freu: :freu:

EDIT: Haha, Alex! Meine sind auch pink. Na, da hat Steffen ja was vor sich, wenn er das auseinanderklamüsern will! :roll: :lol:

Famous just doesn't sound right, all the best, Caro

joy
Story Teller
Beiträge: 412
Registriert: 7. Nov 2009 07:47
Muttersprache: deutsch

Re: Englisch Texte

Beitrag von joy »

tiorthan hat geschrieben:
Duckduck hat geschrieben:There is a huge amount of content available there that isn't suitable for the eyes and ears of children.

Or maybe shorter: There is a huge amount of adult content available.
Although that's not as extensive as your wording, IMO.




....aber tiorthan, dein abgekürzter Satz beschreibt nicht, dass Inhalte darunter sind, die für Kinder nicht geeignet sind, und das vermisse in deinem Satz.

Liebe Grüsse joy


Steffen637
Bilingual Newbie
Beiträge: 4
Registriert: 23. Jul 2010 16:18
Muttersprache: Deutsch

Re: Englisch Texte

Beitrag von Steffen637 »

Danke für die superschnelle und präzise Korrektur, Danke schön :-)

Gruß Steffen

tiorthan
Lingo Whiz
Beiträge: 2810
Registriert: 13. Jun 2010 01:36
Muttersprache: de, (pl)

Re: Englisch Texte

Beitrag von tiorthan »

Ich weiß das, aber im Original war das auch nicht enthalten, deshalb kann es möglicherweise entfallen. Entscheiden kann das am Ende nur der Fragesteller selbst.
You're never too old to learn something stupid.
MistakeSuggestionYou sure that's right?

Steffen637
Bilingual Newbie
Beiträge: 4
Registriert: 23. Jul 2010 16:18
Muttersprache: Deutsch

Re: Englisch Texte

Beitrag von Steffen637 »

Ja das Wort mit S und am Ende x ist gemeint : -)

Delfino
Anglo Veteran
Beiträge: 1606
Registriert: 3. Jul 2008 14:35
Muttersprache: German
Wohnort: UK

Re: Englisch Texte

Beitrag von Delfino »

tiorthan hat geschrieben:
Duckduck hat geschrieben:There is a huge amount of content available there that isn't suitable for the eyes and ears of children.

Or maybe shorter: There is a huge amount of adult content available.

... dein abgekürzter Satz beschreibt nicht, dass Inhalte darunter sind,
die für Kinder nicht geeignet sind, und das vermisse in deinem Satz.

@ joy
adult content implies that it isn't suitable for the eyes and ears of children

There is a huge amount of content available there that isn't suitable for the eyes and ears of children.
So that parents have to use a filter in order to make sure that their kids can't see it.
...is supplied without liability.
IELTS 7 Good user: operational command, occasional inaccuracies

Duckduck
Anglo Master
Beiträge: 3686
Registriert: 1. Okt 2009 14:25
Muttersprache: Deutsch

Re: Englisch Texte

Beitrag von Duckduck »

Danke für die Korrektur :freu: , Delfino, da habe ich nicht aufgepasst!

Duckduck
Mein Farbcode für Korrekturen:
Fehler / Stil/Ausdruck / Anmerkung

joy
Story Teller
Beiträge: 412
Registriert: 7. Nov 2009 07:47
Muttersprache: deutsch

Re: Englisch Texte

Beitrag von joy »

@ Delfino - @ tiorthan
adult content implies that it isn't suitable for the eyes and ears of children


Das habe ich nicht gewusst. Danke für die Aufklärung! :wink:
joy

Liebe Grüsse joy


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