Englisch Text Korrektur bitte

[Mira1991]

hallo,
ich muss in Englisch ein Referat über "the Roman republic" im Bezug auf die moderne Demokratie machen.

Hier ist mein Text,ich bin für jede Korrektur dankbar:-)

The Roman republic

the word “democracy”
The word Democracy comes from the Gracian speech and means “the regime of the public”

democracy parts
The roman republic has some democracy parts. The puplic could choose two Consules for two years. And they chose a parliament of 300 peoole and a senate. But only the male commoner could go to the choice and the puplic was fragmented in classes with difference responsebilities and rights. Also in the moot was injustices,because the noble knights and the armed people were asked at first. And if these two classes aren't agree,the other classes were asked. And the People who hasen't enough capital haven't much rights.
A other democracy part of the roman republic was the choice of the two Censoren for five years. They appreciate the capital of the people and deficed they in the classes.

the boom of the democracy
The boom of the roman democracy was at the term of the Kleisthemes. In this time the moot decided about war and peace,league,the civil liberty and they choice the office. The official functions had got the council of 500 people. And they administrate the ostracism. The moot could exile this people, who were condemned, for 10 years.
The end of the Demokratie starts with Perikles.

real democracy?
The roman Democracy wasn't a modern democracy like today's time. But he had have some starts of the modern democraty like choice.


Words:
moot- Volksversammlung
to appreciate sth. - etwas schätzen
league – Bündnisse
ostracism - das Scherbengericht

Danke im voraus!

Liebe grüße,Nicole

[joy]

Hallo,
Ich muss in Englisch ein Referat über "the Roman republic" im Bezug auf die moderne Demokratie machen.

Hier ist mein Text, ich bin für jede Korrektur dankbar:-)

The Roman Republic

The word “Democracy”
The word democracy comes from the Gracian’s speech and means “the regime of the public”

Democratic parts
The roman republic had some democratic parts. (Ich würde als ersten Satz schreiben welche Regierungsformen herrschten und wann) The public could elect two consuls for two years. And they chose a parliament of 300 people and a senate. But only the male commoner could go to vote in an election and the public was fragmented in classes with different responsibilities and rights. Also in the moot there were injustices, because the noble knights and the armed people were asked at first. And if these two classes did not agree, the other classes were asked. And the people without enough capital had hardly any rights.
Another democratic part of the roman republic was the election of the two censors for five years. They appreciated the capital of the people and divided them into the classes.

The boom of the democracy
The boom of the roman democracy was at the term of the Kleisthenes. In this time the moot decided about war and peace league, the civil liberty and they chosed the office. The official functions had got the council of 500 people. And they administrate the ostracism. The moot could exile this people, who were condemned, for 10 years.The end of the democracy started with Perikles.(Liege ich da falsch, oder bist du bei diesem Abschnitt zu den Griechen gerutscht???)

Real democracy?
The roman democracy wasn't a modern democracy like today's time. But it was the forerunner of the modern democracy.
(Ich würde noch erwähnen, dass es immer noch eine Klassengesellschaft war. Nicht alle Bürger konnten wählen. Es gab Sklaven ohne Wahlrecht und die Rechte galten je nach Vermögen.)

Words:
moot- Volksversammlung
to appreciate sth. - etwas schätzen
league – Bündnis
ostracism - das Scherbengericht

Danke im voraus!

Liebe grüße,Nicole

------------------------------
Hallo Nicole

Hier ist eine Korrektur (ohne Gewähr) und ich hoffe, dass es nicht zu spät ist.
Bitte, das nächste Mal prüfen, ob keine Flüchtigkeitsfehler vorhanden sind und selber ändern, gell?
Im Text könnte "Democracy" entweder immer gross (als Hervorhebung) oder immer klein geschrieben werden, aber es sollte immer gleich sein.
Vielleicht könnte man erwähnen, wie viel Klassen es gibt und sie grob umschreiben.

Liebe Grüsse
joy

[Delfino]

The word democracy is derived from the Greek word δημοκρατία and means “rule of the people”.

Greek / Grecian = of Ancient Greece