bitte um korrektur

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mido_quaresma
Bilingual Newbie
Beiträge: 1
Registriert: 11. Jan 2010 18:11
Muttersprache: Arabisch

bitte um korrektur

Beitrag von mido_quaresma »

hallo ich bin neuer forummitglied und bräuchte hilfe bei dem text
es handelt sich um ein referat und würde mich freuen ob jemand es verbessern würde
besonders probleme hab ich mit der verwendung der zeiten
vielen dank im voraus :)

The book Deadline was written by Simon Kernick and was published in 2008.
In the book a woman, Andrea comes back to her house late from work and then realized that her 14-year-old daughter has been taken, and the kidnapper wanted half a million pounds in cash. And she only had 48 hours. She is very frightened. Her husband who she married two years ago is also missing, and she doesn´t know where he is.
First she tries to get the money ready. On the next day she gets more than the half of the money ready. But she realizes that she is unable to do all that alone, so she calles her ex-husband from Spain to help her. He agrees and comes to her. On the second day she has the money ready, and the kidnapper calles her and tells her where she has to go and what she has to do, but he also tells her to come alone. But her ex-husband Chris goes with her, and so the kidnapper kills him in an awful way. Then they call Andrea and tell her that she has made a big mistake, and so she has to pay another half million pounds if she wants her daughter back. Now she is alone again. But on her way home a policeman stopps her and asks her why she is driving so fast, and while he is speaking he notices the blood on her jacket. So she tells the policeman everything. He takes her to the police station, and there she sees a detective she knows from the past, but they do both as if they don´t know each other.
The police tell her that they will help her to get her daughter back. At the end the detective who knew her, Bolt, is suspended from his work but at the same time he is just looking for the kidnapper, and finds him with the girl just going into a house. Bolt is without gun or weapon this time, but still goes there to help the girl. While he is fightening someone shoots with a gun out of the window at the kidnapper, so he dies. But this man, who shot disappears later. Bolt saves the girl and brings her home. Later they get to know that the man who shot was a very good friend of Bolt, but he is also involved in this kidnapping.




joy
Story Teller
Beiträge: 412
Registriert: 7. Nov 2009 07:47
Muttersprache: deutsch

Re: bitte um korrektur

Beitrag von joy »

Hi

Die, nach meinem Wissensstand, korrigierten Wörter sind gross geschrieben.

------------------------------

The book Deadline was written by Simon Kernick and was published in 2008.

In the book a woman, Andrea comes back to her house late from work and then REALIZES that her 14-year-old daughter has been abducted, and the kidnapper wanted half a million pounds in cash WITHIN only 48 hours.

She is very frightened. Her husband who (whom, oder ohne who/whom?)she married two years ago is also missing, and she doesn´t know where he is.
First she tries to get the money ready. THE next day she gets more than HALF of the money ready. But she realizes that she is unable to do all that alone, so she CALLS her ex-husband from Spain to help her. He agrees and comes to her. On the second day she has the money ready, and the kidnapper CALLS her and tells her where she has to go and what she has to do, but he also tells her to come alone. But her ex-husband Chris goes with her, and so the kidnapper kills him in an awful way. Then SHE CALLS Andrea and TELLS her that she has made a big mistake, and so she has to pay another half million pounds if she wants her daughter back. Now she is alone again. But on her way home a policeman STOPS her and asks her why she WAS driving so fast, and while SHE is speaking he notices the blood on her jacket. So she tells the policeman everything. He takes her to the police station, and there she sees a detective she knows from the past, but they do both as if they DIDN’T know each other.
The police tell her that they will help her to get her daughter back. At the end the detective, BOLT, who KNOWS her is suspended from his work but at the same time he is just looking for the kidnapper, and finds him with the girl just going into a house. Bolt is without gun or weapon this time, but still goes there to help the girl. While he is FIGHTING, someone shoots with a gun out of the window at the kidnapper, so he dies. But this man, who shot disappears later. Bolt saves the girl and brings her home. Later they get to know that the man who shot was a very good friend of Bolt, but he is also involved in this kidnapping.

Good luck
joy

Liebe Grüsse joy


Duckduck
Anglo Master
Beiträge: 3687
Registriert: 1. Okt 2009 14:25
Muttersprache: Deutsch

Re: bitte um korrektur

Beitrag von Duckduck »

joy hat geschrieben:Hi

Die, nach meinem Wissensstand, korrigierten Wörter sind gross geschrieben.

Hallo joy :) , darf ich noch mal drübergucken? :mrgreen:
------------------------------

The book "Deadline" was written by Simon Kernick and (was) published in 2008.

In the book a woman, Andrea, comes back to her house late from work and then REALIZES that her 14-years-old daughter has been abducted, and that the kidnapper wants half a million pounds in cash WITHIN only 48 hours.

She is very frightened. Her husband, whom she had married two years ago, is also missing, and she doesn't know where he is.
First she tries to get the money (ready). By the next day she has more than HALF of the money ready. But she realizes that she is unable to do all that alone, so she CALLS her ex-husband from/in?? Spain and asks him to help her. He agrees and comes to her. On the second day she has the money ready, and the kidnapper CALLS her and tells her where she has to go and what she has to do, but he also tells her to come alone. But her ex-husband Chris goes with her, and so the kidnapper kills him in an awful way. Then SHE??? ist es eine Frau?? eher wohl "he", oder?? CALLS Andrea and TELLS her that she has made a big mistake, and so she will have to pay another half million pounds if she wants her daughter back. Now Andrea is alone again. But on her way home a policeman STOPS her and asks her why she is driving so fast, and while SHE oder doch "he"?? is speaking he notices the blood on her jacket. So she tells the policeman everything. He takes her to the police station, and there she sees a detective she has known for years, but they both pretend that they don't know each other.
The police tell her that they will help her to get her daughter back. At the end the detective, BOLT, whom she has known for years, is suspended from his work but, nevertheless, he is still looking for the kidnapper, and finds him and the girl just going into a house. Bolt is without gun or weapon (oder "is unarmed"), but he still goes there to help the girl. While he is FIGHTING, someone shoots (with a gun) out of the window at the kidnapper, so he dies (oder "and kills him"). But the shot ("shot" kann auch Schütze heißen) disappears later. Bolt saves the girl and takes her home. Later they get to know that the man who shot was a very good friend of Bolt's, but that he was also involved in this kidnapping.

Good luck
joy
Prima Text, mido_quaresma!
Prima Korrektur, joy!

Prima Tag an Alle
wünscht Duckduck
Mein Farbcode für Korrekturen:
Fehler / Stil/Ausdruck / Anmerkung

joy
Story Teller
Beiträge: 412
Registriert: 7. Nov 2009 07:47
Muttersprache: deutsch

Re: bitte um korrektur

Beitrag von joy »

Danke Duckduck - ich habe dich ja schon vermisst!
Der "he" ist eine "she, da der "he" erschossen wurde, oder?

Gruss
joy

Liebe Grüsse joy


Duckduck
Anglo Master
Beiträge: 3687
Registriert: 1. Okt 2009 14:25
Muttersprache: Deutsch

Re: bitte um korrektur

Beitrag von Duckduck »

joy hat geschrieben:Danke Duckduck - ich habe dich ja schon vermisst!
Der "he" ist eine "she, da der "he" erschossen wurde, oder?

Gruss
joy
Stimmt, joy, :jo: wieso gehe ich davon aus, dass die Kidnapper beide Männer sind? Der eine wird später erschossen, aber vielleicht ist der Komplize eine Frau, mal sehen, was mido_quaresma uns dazu sagen kann...

Grüße
Duckduck
Mein Farbcode für Korrekturen:
Fehler / Stil/Ausdruck / Anmerkung

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