Business letters Korrekturlesen

[Priyaa]

Hello,
Ich bin zum ersten Mal hier. Kann jemand bitte meine Briefe korrigieren? Ich danke Dir im Voraus.

Gruß
Priyaa
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Situation:
You are a small company in Germany who supply gifts to various outlets. These gifts consists of ornaments, candles, keyrings, mugs, etc.. You are writing to a company in Britain who specialise in ornate candles. You have seen an old brochure of theirs passed on to you by a friend and wish to find out more information. Your letter should give reference to costs, samples, delivery and brochures.

My answer:

sender






receiver



Dear Mr. Bailey,

Receptionist – Ref.: brochure

I have received your address, fax and e – mail address from my friend. I am writing this letter because I have been informed by my friend that you are a company in Britain who specialise in ornate candles.

I have a small company in Germany and supply gifts to various outlets. The gifts which I supply gifts to various outlets. The gifts which I supply are made of ornaments, candles, key rings, mugs, etc..

I am interested in your ornate candles. I saw your products an old brochure on to my by a friend. I would like to more information about the candles.

Please send me the newest brochures and also the samples, too. Let me know about the cost of the samples. Please give me details on your terms of payment and delivery.

I thank you in advance for the sending your newest brochures and the samples.

If you have any question please ring me up immediately.

Yours sincerely

Mueller

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Situation:
You are a buyer for a department store in Paderborn responsible for the clothing department. You have been informed by a colleague about a new clothing manufacturer specialising in ladies fashion and that they are looking for an outlet. Your letter should give reference to discounts available, delivery and sample viewing.

My answer:

sender






receiver



Dear Mrs. Mc Daniel,

I have received your address, fax and telephone number on the newspaper (“the daily news”) on Saturday 14th April 2005.

I am a buyer for a department store in Paderborn and also responsible for the clothing department.

I have been informed by a colleague about a new clothing manufacture specialising in ladies fashion and that they are looking for an outlet.

Please send me sample for viewing and let me know about discounts available.

I thank you in advance and waiting for yours offers.

Yours sincerely

Becker

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Situation:
You run a small hardware shop and have been having problems with you current supplier. You decide to contact a leading manufacturer to enquire about their prices for tools, if purchased on a regular basis, and about delivery. You require a brochure with a price list.

My answer:
sender






receiver



Dear Miss Harry,

receptionist – Ref.: brochure with a price list.

I got your name, address, fax and e – mail address from your home page. I have been already informed by my girlfriend that you are manufactures of hardware tools. I am interested in your company.

I run a small hardware shop in Hahn. The Hardware which I sell is for example soundcard, graphic card and etc.

I am writing you this enquiry letter because I have problem with my current supplier from last one week. That’ s why I decide to contact you as a leading manufacturer of Hardware tools.

Please send your new brochure with a price list as soon as possible. The reason is why I need brochure with a price list is, I have received many enquiries from customers to fix their own personal computers.

Please quote your lowest price for hardware tools, on a regular basis purchased. Please give me details on your terms of delivery. If you have any question about enquiries, please ring me up immediately.

I thank you in advance and waiting for yours offers.

Yours sincerely

Judith

[Priyaa]

Hi
Ich danke Dir. Es ist natürlich nicht für die Schule. Ich habe aber die Aufgaben von eine Schulbuch gefunden.

Ich möchte gerne business Englisch lernen.

[Priyaa]

Hello,
Ich habe mit Hilfe von Englisch-Forum (englisch-hilfen.de) gelernt wie man enquiry schreibt. . Ich möchte gerne auch "offer" schreiben lernen. Kann jemand bitte meine offer Korrekturlesen? Ich wäre sehr dankebar. Wie gesagt, ich lerne halt für mich selbt und denke, dass jemand mir beibringen kann. Ich danke Dir im Voraus.

Gruß
Priyaa
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You are a well – known American producer of general management programs in the field of manufacturing and logistics. You have seen the home page on the internet of one of Germany`s finance and marketing companies for logistics. You wish to send them some literature about the range of services that you offer.
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sender

Mr. A. Brown
Sales Division
Computer Software Limited
P.O. Box 30205
London SE5 9RT
Great Britain

Dear Mr. Brown,

Receptionist – Ref.: general management programs

I am a American producer of general management programs in the field of manufacturing and logistics.

I have research on the internet about Germany`s finance and marketing companies for logistic. I have found more marketing companies for logistic and have seen the home page of some companies. During the research I found your home page has more very important information’s for the website visitor about your company. I am very interested in your finance and marketing company.

I received your name, address, fax and e – mail address from your home page.

I am writing this offer letter to you because I produce general management programs in the field of manufacturing and logistic. That’s why I decided to contact you as a producer of manufacturing of logistics.

I would like to send you in the next week some literature about the range of services that I offer. Please let me know if you are interested in my offer.

If you have any questions about my offer, please ring me up immediately. If you have no question about my offer you can send me your enquiry per fax, too.  

I thank you in advance and waiting for your reply as soon as possible.

Yours sincerely

Becker

[Miss Piggy]

Sorry habe wenig Zeit (muss ja auch nebenbei arbeiten, hier erstmal ein paar Korrekturen von mir (bzw Umschreibeungen), es gibt natürlich andere Möglichkeiten der Brief zu schreiben, aber so ahnlich würde ich es tun, hoffe ich habe nichts übersehen, wie gesagt, habe wenig Zeit.

Kleiner Tipp an Rande, versuche dich so wenig wie möglich zu wiederholen.

Dear Mr. Brown,

Receptionist – Ref.: general management programs

I am a American producer of general management programs in the field of manufacturing and logistics.

I have done internet research on the internet about Germany's logistical finance and marketing companies for logistic. I have found several such more marketing companies for logistic and have seen reviewed their home pages of some companies. During the research I found your home page has morea larger amount of very important company information’s for the website visitor about your company. I am very interested in your finance and marketing company.

I received obtained your name, address, fax and e – mail address from your home page.

I am writingsending you this offer letter, to you because  as I produce general management programs in the field of manufacturing and logistic.  That’s why I decided to contact  and believe my products could be of interest to you, a producer of manufacturing of logistics.

I would like to send you some literature in the next week about the range of services that I offer
within the next week . Please let me know if you are interested in my offer.

Please click, on my home pageIn the meantime you can find further information on the internet. There you will find Iinformation about my company and old and new products. On my home page under the link “customer’s letters” you will find some interesting customer letters of my customers. I think it can be interesting  for you my company responsibilities could be of interest to you to know learn about my company and my responsibility.

If you have any questions about my offer, do not hesitate to contact me please ring me up immediately. If you have no question about my offer you can send me your enquiry per fax, too.  

I thank you in advance and await your prompt and positive
response waiting for your reply as soon as possible.

Yours sincerely

Becker

Das was ich blau markiert habe, verstehe ich nicht so ganz,  - "falls Sie Fragen haben, kontaktieren Sie mich, falls sie keine Fragen haben können Sie ihre Anfragen per E-Mail fax auch schicken"

????

Das macht kein Sinn

Ich würde auch "website" statt "homepage" bevorzugen...

[Miss Piggy]

Auf das Gefahr hin, dass mein Posting nochmal gelöscht wird, würde ich hier nicht "received" sondern "obtained" received wäre mehr im Sinne von empfangen.