Au Pair

[Leni*]

ich bewerbe mich grade als AuPair in England
und mein Profiltext habe ich jetzt mit müh und not zusammengeschriebn.

Könnt ihr mal drübergucken ob das ein Engländer ein wenig versteht ^^?
danke im vorraus

Lg
Leni

Dear family,
I search a nice family with children of any age, to incorporate me for few months.
My name is Helen, I’m 17 years old but in June 2010 I will turn 18. I came from Germany and live in a little village near Frankfurt wirth my mum and dad and my older brother. I am a coach of a children’s dance group since over a year. The children are aged 6-12 years. I’m opend-minded and impulsive. I would like to see much of the world and I’m reliable and I can safely say that punctuality is very important for me. I’m flexible and I can quickly adapt me in new situations. My hobbies are dance, reading a book and hear music. I love children and love to spend time with them whether they are playing games or homework or other activities. I love it to be on the way and I like it to collect new experiences and impressions. I would be happy if I be a part of a nice and active family, who is also humorous and enterprising.
I’d like to meet new countries and learn a bit about some cultures, with the assistance from a lovely family. I would also like to improve my English skills so that I can speak this language fluently.

[Ashai]

Hallo Leni,

ich bin zwar kein Muttersprachler in Englisch, aber ein Feedback kann ich dir trotzdem geben. Ich hab fast alles auf Anhieb verstanden. Nur die blau angemerkten Stellen nicht. Alles in rot sind Verbesserungen der Grammatik und der Wörter. Da ich auch neu hier bin, kenn ich die Regeln noch nicht genau. Möchtest du einen perfekten Text abliefern? Ich hab dir nicht alles verbessert, sondern nur die groben Fehler, so dass der Text noch dich und deinen Leistungsstand wider spiegelt. Es soll ja noch authentisch sein.

glg

Dear family,
I am looking for a nice family with children of all ages, to work for a few months.
My name is Helen, I’m 17 years old and in June 2010, I will turn 18. I come from Germany and live in a little village near Frankfurt with my mum, dad and my older brother. I am a coach of a children’s dance group for more than a year now. The children are aged 6-12 years. I’m open-minded and impulsive. (hier ist impulsive nicht das richtige Wort, da es einen negativen Touch hat. Was wolltest du denn damit sagen?) I would like to explore the world. I’m reliable and I can definitely say that being on time is very important to me. I’m flexible and I can quickly adapt to new situations. My hobbies are dancing, reading books and listening to music. I love children and love to spend time with them whether they are playing games or doing their homework or other activities. (Dieser Satz stimmt so nicht ganz, besser wäre: I love children and I love to play games with them, help doing their homework or do some other activities.) I love it to be on the way (hier weiß ich auch nicht, was du meinst) and I like it to collect new experiences and impressions. I would be happy if I could be part of a nice and active family, who is also humorous and adventurous .
I’d like to get to know new countries and learn things about other cultures, with the assistance of a lovely family. I would also like to improve my English skills so that I can speak this language fluently.

[xxneroxx]

Hallo
Ich hab noch ein paar kleinere Fehler gefunden.

Dear family,
I am looking for a nice family with children of all ages to work for as an au pair for a few month.
My name is Helen, I’m 17 years old and in June 2010 (hier kein Komma) I will turn 18. I come from Germany and live in a little village near Frankfurt with my mum, dad and my older brother. I am a coach of a children’s dance group for more than a year now. The children are aged 6-12 years. I’m open-minded and spontaneous. I would like to explore the world. I’m reliable and I can definitely say that being on time is very important to me. I’m flexible and I can quickly adapt to new situations. My hobbies are dancing, reading books and listening to music. I love children and love to spend time with them whether they are playing games or doing their homework or other activities. (Dieser Satz stimmt so nicht ganz, besser wäre: I love children and I love to play games with them, help doing their homework or do some other activities.) I love it to be on the way ("unterwegs sein" wird so wie wir es im Deutschen kennen eigentlich nicht benutzt, evtl diesen Teil weglassen oder anders umschreiben) and I like gathering new experiences and impressions. I would be happy if I could be part of a nice and active family, who is also humorous and adventurous .
I’d like to get to know new countries and learn things about other cultures, with the assistance of a lovely family. I would also like to improve my English skills so that I can speak this language fluently.


Ich hoffe ich hab dir damit geholfen
Lg

[Arminius]

I am a coach of a children’s dance group for more than a year now.

Besser: I have been a coach of a children´s dance group for more than a year now.