Erbitte ebenfalls Korrektur

[4life]

Hi zusammen,

Klasse 11, gymn. Oberstufe, Thema "Crimes" aus Lehrbuch "New Focus on Success" (Allg. Ausgabe)
Gegeben sind 6 Personen mit knappen Beschreibungen ihres Verbrechens.
Aufgabe: Decide on a punishment for each of these crimes.

Als Hausaufgabe sollten wir uns nach Gruppenarbeit nochmal zwei Personen heraussuchen und schriftlich Stellung nehmen und begründen, was wir als Richter im jeweiligen Fall entscheiden würden.
Hier meine beiden Texte. Habe sie vorgelesen u. unsere Lehrerin hat außer der besonderen Kürze inhaltlich und grammatikalisch nichts kritisiert:

Andrea Silvestrini: If I were a judge in that case, I woult think of a fine depending on the payment of a well-known politician and the price of the diamond necklace he tried to steal. Maybe, the fine could be the half of the necklace's price. Furthermore I would send him into prison for only a few days to deter him from repeating the offence.

Rosie Wilson: In that case I would be a little bit more tolerant than in other cases, because of the much mitigating circumstances like living on social security and being devorced followed by living as single mother with three small children. Thinking of her unstable social background with no previous offences, here I would decide on letting her off with a warning.

Bitte besonderes Augenmerk auf Grammatik wie Satzbau, Kommas u. Rechtschreibung

Danke
Christoph

[Keswick]

Andrea Silvestrini: If I were a judge in that case, I would think of a fine depending on the payment of a well-known politician and the price of the diamond necklace he tried to steal. Maybe, the fine could be the half of the necklace's price. Furthermore I would send him to prison for only a few days to deter him from repeating the offence.

Rosie Wilson: In that case I would be a little bit more tolerant than in other cases, because of the much mitigating circumstances like living on social welfare and being divorced, followed by living as single mother with three small children. Thinking of her unstable social background with no previous offences, here I would decide on letting her off with a warning.