Korrektur: Newspaper article

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Schwindgasse
Bilingual Newbie
Beiträge: 14
Registriert: 21. Feb 2009 15:11
Muttersprache: Deutsch

Korrektur: Newspaper article

Beitrag von Schwindgasse »

Hey Leute, ich muss für Englisch einen 150 Wörter Newspaper article schreiben, aber nachdem ich nicht gerade ein Ass in Englisch bin, wäre ich sehr dankbar wenn sich jemand diesen Text nocheinmal durchlesen und meine Fehler ausbessern könnte. :wink:

What a hard life for teens today …
Hi, my name is Elisabeth. I’m a fourteen year old girl who lives in Austria. I thought a lot about the lives of teenagers in the last time and now I want to describe these hard lives.
The first thing I want to write on is about parents. Often kids in the age of 12 until 18 think that parents are much too strict. Uninterrupted they have to listen to rules and stuff like that. Many teenagers say if they have to hear that again and again, there is such a pressure that they do these bad things even more.
The next thing is peer pressure. Many teenagers begin to try out alcohol and drugs. In any case there are kids, who won’t ever try out that stuff, but when they have friends, which do that, they also get involved mostly. Also if peer pressure isn’t always bad, the risk that it goes bad is big.
Another important point is school. Many teenagers have problems at school. Sometimes they only have problems at school because they have problems at home with their families too. When a kid has such problems, most people don’t realize what the real problem is. In some cases, family and school problems get so big, those teenagers decide to commit suicide.
The last thing I want to describe is about jobs and money. Many teenagers want to get independent. They want to earn money by themselves – not to ask their parents for everything they need. Often parents don’t understand that and troubles are preassigned. The logically consequence is again, the liability for body and soul.
So, don’t say “the easy life of teens”, or “the youth from today…” – that’s not true! Try to put yourselves in teenager’s positions and then to judge!


Herzlichen Dank schonmal im Voraus! :danke:
LG




Amelia-dulzura
Bilingual Newbie
Beiträge: 5
Registriert: 6. Apr 2009 14:30
Muttersprache: deutsch

Beitrag von Amelia-dulzura »

What a hard life for teens today …
Hi, my name is Elisabeth. I’m a fourteen year old girl who lives in Austria. I thought a lot about the lives of teenagers in the last time and now I want to describe these hard lives.
The first thing I want to write about are parents. Kids in the age of 12 until 18 often think that parents are much too strict. Uninterrupted they have to listen to rules and stuff like that. Many teenagers say if they have to hear that again and again, there will be such a pressure that they do these bad things even more.
The next thing is peer pressure. Many teenagers begin to try out alcohol and drugs. In any case there are kids, who won’t ever try out that stuff, but when they have friends doing that, they mostly also get involved .Even though peer pressure isn’t always bad, the risk that it goes bad is big.
Another important point is school. Many teenagers have problems at school. Sometimes they only have problems at school because they have problems at home with their families,too. When a kid has such problems, most people don’t realize what the real problem is. In some cases family and school problems become so big that those teenagers decide to commit suicide.
The last thing I want to describe are jobs and money. Many teenagers want to get independent. They want to earn money by themselves – not to ask their parents for everything they need. Often parents don’t understand that and troubles are preassigned. The logically consequence is again, the liability for body and soul.
So, don’t say “the easy life of teens”, or “the youth of today…” – that’s not true! Try to put yourselve in teenager’s positions and then you may judge them!

Schwindgasse
Bilingual Newbie
Beiträge: 14
Registriert: 21. Feb 2009 15:11
Muttersprache: Deutsch

Beitrag von Schwindgasse »

Herzlichen Dank!! (: :danke:
Geben - aber nichts zurückbekommen.

FiendishMinx
Topic Talker
Beiträge: 81
Registriert: 18. Feb 2009 09:42
Muttersprache: Deutsch
Wohnort: UK

Beitrag von FiendishMinx »

What a hard life for teens today …
Hi, my name is Elisabeth. I’m a fourteen year old girl who lives in Austria. I have thought a lot about the lives of teenagers recently, and now I want to describe these hard lives.
The first thing I want to write about are parents. Kids between the age of 12 until 18 often think that parents are much too strict. Uninterruptedly they have to listen to rules and stuff like that. Many teenagers say if they have to hear that over and over again, there will be such a pressure that they do these bad things even more.
The next thing is peer pressure. Many teenagers begin to try out alcohol and drugs. In any case there are kids, who won’t ever try out that stuff, but when they have friends doing that, they mostly also get involved .Even though peer pressure isn’t always bad, the risk that it goes bad is high.
Another important point is school. Many teenagers have problems at school. Sometimes they only have problems at school, because they have problems at home with their families,too. When a kid has such problems, most people don’t realize what the real problem is. In some cases family and school problems become so big that those teenagers decide to commit suicide.
The last thing I want to describe are jobs and money. Many teenagers want to become independent. They want to earn money themselves – not to ask their parents for everything they need. Often parents don’t understand that and trouble is preassigned. Again the logically consequence is the liability for body and soul.
So, don’t say “the easy life of teens”, or “the youth of today…” – that’s not true! Try to put yourself into a teenager’s positions and then you may judge them!
Denke jetzt bitte nicht, dass ich es auf dich abgesehen habe, Amelia, aber auch hier sind wieder einige Fehler dringeblieben. Ich denke, es ist fuer den Fragesteller am besten, wenn man die noch rausnimmt. Keine Sorge, ich gehe bestimmt nicht jede deiner Verbesserungen durch. Ich denke aber auch, dass wir hier im Forum alles nach besten Wissen und Gewissen verbessern sollten (was du sicherlich tust :) !) und wenn mir dann noch was auffaellt, sollte ich das noch anmerken. Ich bin auch nicht perfekt, sonst koennte ich auf Wasser laufen... :D (Was meine Deutschlandbesuche viel kostenguenstiger machen wuerde *lach*). Also nichts fuer ungut!
WICHTIG! Anfragen per PN werden ignoriert. Danke.

Schwindgasse
Bilingual Newbie
Beiträge: 14
Registriert: 21. Feb 2009 15:11
Muttersprache: Deutsch

Beitrag von Schwindgasse »

Oh ... okay danke (:

Und ja, Fehler machen wir doch alle. :)

Herzlichen Dank trotzdem nochmal :D :danke:
Geben - aber nichts zurückbekommen.

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