Hilfe bei Korrektur kurzen Texts

Hier könnt ihr Sätze und kurze Texte zum Korrigieren einstellen.
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Schwindgasse
Bilingual Newbie
Beiträge: 14
Registriert: 21. Feb 2009 15:11
Muttersprache: Deutsch

Hilfe bei Korrektur kurzen Texts

Beitrag von Schwindgasse »

Hey Leute, ich muss für Englisch einen 400 Wörter Aufsatz schreiben, aber nachdem ich nicht gerade ein Ass in Englisch bin, wäre ich sehr dankbar wenn sich jemand diesen Text nocheinmal durchlesen könnte und meine Fehler ausbessern könnte. :)

When I turned round, I suddenly realized that I had lost my group. I didn’t know what to do. Slowly I remembered: “Parkinson Street … our group wanted to go to Parkinson Street” I look around. There were no road signs. How could this be?! I walked further and came to a little, dark alley. I saw a man, who leaned on the furthest wall. I decided to ask him after the way to Parkinson Street and made a few steps towards him. When he saw me, he quickly went away and left me alone. I was afraid. I turned back to the main road but suddenly somebody caught me from behind and I became unconscious.
I woke up in a dark room again. There was no space; I lay trapped between some carton boxes. I heard two men talking about a lot of money and to press money from the banks in New York because of having a very special minister. Only now I realized that they talked about me, but I was only a tourist! They had to confound something. I wanted to get away from here how fast as possible. I looked for a light. Behind some boxes I found a small tunnel that seemed to be a ventilations pipe many times ago. I crawled in. There were a lot of dead and alive spiders. There was also a lot of dust so I had to sneeze every few seconds. I hoped that the two men wouldn’t hear me and luckily they didn’t. But when they looked into the room and I wasn’t there anymore they get panic. Then they discover the pipe behind the boxes. One of the men wanted to follow me but he was too big for the pipe. I got further and further away from the two men and finally I came to the end of the pipe, which ended in the same alley in which I was kidnapped. I ran to the main street and looked for the next police station. There I said what had happened to me and showed the police officers the position from the alley and the pipe. They found out from where the pipe came and when they storm the house, they found the two men, who had kidnapped me. They arrested them and with the help of the police I found the way back to my group. What for an adventure!



Herzlichen Dank schonmal im Voraus! :danke:
LG




Delfino
Anglo Veteran
Beiträge: 1606
Registriert: 3. Jul 2008 14:35
Muttersprache: German
Wohnort: UK

Beitrag von Delfino »

When I turned round, I suddenly realized that I had lost my group. I didn’t know what to do.
I slowly remembered: “Parkinson Street … our group wanted to go to Parkinson Street.” I looked around. Unfortunately there were no road signs. How could this happen? I walked further on and came to a small, dark alley. Where I saw a man, who leaned on the wall. I decided to ask him for help to find the way to Parkinson Street. So I made a few steps towards him. When he saw me, he quickly walked away and left me alone in this strange environment. I was afraid. I turned back to the main road but suddenly somebody caught me from behind and I became unconscious.
I woke up in a dark room. There was not much space. I layed between some carton boxes. I heard two men talking about a lot of money. They wanted to press money from the banks in New York because they had a very special mission. :question: Only now I realized that they were talking about me, but I wasn't special - only a tourist! They probably had me confused with someone else. I wanted to get out of this situation as fast as possible. I looked around in hope for a way out. Behind some boxes I found a small tunnel that seemed to be a ventilation shaft a long time ago. I crawled in. There were a lot of spiders and only some of them were already dead. There was also a lot of dust so I had to sneeze every few seconds. I hoped that the two men wouldn’t hear me and luckily they didn’t. When they looked into the room again the men started to panic because I wasn’t there anymore. Then they discovered the ventilation shaft behind the boxes. One of the men wanted to follow me but he was too big for it. I was able to get further and further away from the two men and finally I reached the end of the tunnel, which ended in the same alley in which I was kidnapped. I quickly ran to the main street and looked for the next police station. There I told the police officers what had happened to me and showed them the position of the entry to the ventilation shaft in the alley. After they found out where the ventilation shaft comes from they stormed the house and found the two men, who had kidnapped me. The police officers arrested the kidnappers immediately. One of the policemen helped me to find the way back to my group. What an adventure!

pipe = Rohr
...is supplied without liability.
IELTS 7 Good user: operational command, occasional inaccuracies

Schwindgasse
Bilingual Newbie
Beiträge: 14
Registriert: 21. Feb 2009 15:11
Muttersprache: Deutsch

Beitrag von Schwindgasse »

yeah mission ^^

:freu: daaaanke (: :freu:
Geben - aber nichts zurückbekommen.

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