Hallo zusammen,
ich bin im moment dabei einen letter of motivation zu schreiben. Es geht dabei um eine Bewerbung für ein Auslandssemester in Hong Kong oder den USA. (wir durften uns 3 Ziele raussuchen für die wir uns bewerben). Ich studiere momentan in Holland Tourismus Management.
Es wäre schön wenn ihr mir ein paar Verbesserungsvorschläge geben könntet.
hier noch ein paar Infos bezüglich der Vorgaben des letters:
This letter does not only need to cover your motivation, but also your personal qualities and
abilities to function in an international setting, an explanation of your motivation, your academic &
personal development, your knowledge of destination, your plans for the future, why you are the right
candidate to represent NHTV. Be sure to spend time thinking seriously about your motivation!
This will show us how carefully you have considered why such a period abroad is important for you!
The letter should be printed on A4 paper and have no more than 2 pages nor exceed 750 words.
Nun schlussendlich zu meinem Text (es ist die erste version):
Dear Mr. Bravo Madrid,
with this letter I would like to express my motivation for going on an exchange to one of the three chosen destinations within Hong Kong and the United States of America. The brochure and the experience reports, as well as the presentation given by you were sources of great interest to me and were very helpful for making the right destination choice.
As a foreign first year student of international tourism and leisure management I already had the chance to experience studying and living within a foreign environment. It showed me, how important it is to be open minded but also that there is interest in the country and culture I come from. This exchange of differences and knowledge was and still is one of the main factors influencing my personality and my abilities. Being able to deal with an international atmosphere and to use this atmosphere to your advantage instead of letting it slow you down is a skill I was able to develop, not only for group assignments but also for my daily life within the Netherlands and anywhere else. I learned that listening to different points of views and sharing these largely contributes to the work we do and that it is as important as being able to work individually, which is another strength I was able to develop further.
All this can directly be linked to my motivation for going on exchange.
Within the tourism industry, every single international experience you make is an advantage, as it helps you to widen your horizon. Knowing about different trends and different approaches regions, countries or even continents and their schools take towards tourism is essential in this globally linked market.
On the other hand it is also important to be informed about the cultural differences that might influence the tourism industry and as cross cultural studies, a course that is also offered by NHTV, is of big interest to me, I not only see it as a chance to get a first hand experience but also as a chance to bring my experiences back to Breda to share them with my fellow students.
For my personal and academic future I want to develop the skills, knowledge and behaviors that are necessary to perform as a confident, independent person and as an active learner who is able to work individually as well as in groups. The NHTV and the three schools of my choice all provide the perfect foundation for that, as they demand a problem solving way of working and give you the chance to apply what you learn in classroom.
Choosing Hong Kong and the United States of America as my destinations followed the fact, that they both are very important market players within tourism.
The continent of Asia sees the 2nd most tourist arrivals worldwide, right after Europe. What makes it even more important is the very high growth rate of over 10% which makes it the 2nd fastest growing destination.
Another reason for me to choose Hong Kong as my top destination is Asia’s leading edge position in the aviation market, which I want to specialize on during my studies.
With carriers like Singapore Airlines, Asia was able to set new standards and trends.
On the other hand the United States of America are within the top 3 when it comes to tourism expenditures and the number of outbound tourists created which gives them an undeniable strength within the market.
This shows that I see my future in tourism within an international surrounding, preferably in the aviation industry.
Going on exchange is not a one-sided process. It is not only about getting new experiences yourself, it is also about sharing your experiences with others.
I am very keen on giving my future fellow students an insight into my culture and knowledge to let them profit from my presence. I am also very keen on satisfying the exchange institution as well as the NHTV. I will achieve that with high commitment and by showing that I can relate to people easily and that I can adapt to new surroundings quickly.
An exchange to one of my chosen destinations will enhance my profile and I look forward to hear from you soon.
Yours sincerely,
Vorname Nachname
Letter of Motivation (Auslandssemester)
-
Schwadi
- Bilingual Newbie
- Beiträge: 3
- Registriert: 27. Dez 2008 14:55
- Muttersprache: deutsch
-
Schwadi
- Bilingual Newbie
- Beiträge: 3
- Registriert: 27. Dez 2008 14:55
- Muttersprache: deutsch
Hier die aktuellste version:
Dear Mr Bla Bla,
Your exchange brochure and the experience reports have been of great interest to me, and having seen your presentation I am convinced to have made the right decision for me.
As a foreign first year student of international tourism and leisure management I have already had the chance to experience studying and living in a foreign environment. It has shown me how important it is to be open-minded but also that a considerable amount of interest in the country and culture I come from exists. This exchange of differences and knowledge was and still is one of the main factors influencing my personality and my abilities. Working in an international atmosphere and benefitting from it instead of letting it slow you down is a skill I have developed, not only for group assignments but also for my daily life within the Netherlands and anywhere else. I have learned that listening to different points of views and sharing them largely contributes to the work we do and that it is as important as being able to work individually, which is another strength I have been able to develop further.
All this can directly be linked to my motivation for going on exchange.
Within the tourism industry, every single international experience you make is an advantage, as it helps you to widen your horizon. Knowing about different trends and different approaches regions, countries or even continents and their schools take towards tourism is essential in this globally linked market.
On the other hand it is also important to be informed about the cultural differences that might influence the tourism industry. As cross cultural studies, a course that is also offered by NHTV, is of big interest to me, not only do I see it as a chance to get a first-hand experience but also as a chance to bring my experiences back to Breda to share them with my fellow students.
For my personal and academic future I want to develop the skills, knowledge and behaviors that are necessary to perform as a confident, independent person and as an active learner who is able to work individually as well as in groups. The NHTV and the three schools of my choice all provide the perfect foundation for that, as they demand a problem-solving way of working and give me the chance to apply what I have learned in classroom.
I have chosen Hong Kong and the United States of America as my destinations because both play an important role in tourism.
The continent of Asia has the second highest number of tourist arrivals worldwide, right after Europe. What makes it even more important is the 10% growth rate of the number of tourist arrivals, which makes it the second fastest growing destination.
Another reason for me to choose Hong Kong as my favourite destination is Asia’s leading edge position in the aviation market, the market I want to specialize in during my studies. With carriers like Singapore Airlines, Asia has been able to set new standards and trends.
On the other hand the United States of America are within the top 3 when it comes to tourism expenditures and the number of outbound tourists, which gives them an undeniable strength within the market.
This is why I see my future in tourism within an international surrounding, preferably in the aviation industry.
Going on an exchange is not a one-sided process. It is not only about getting new experiences yourself, it is also about sharing your experiences with others.
I am very keen on giving my future fellow students an insight into my culture to let them profit from my presence. I am also very keen on satisfying the exchange institution as well as the NHTV. I am determined to show high commitment and make use of my ability to easily relate to people and quickly adapt to new surroundings.
An exchange to one of my chosen destinations will enhance my profile and I look forward to hear from you soon.
Yours sincerely,
Dear Mr Bla Bla,
Your exchange brochure and the experience reports have been of great interest to me, and having seen your presentation I am convinced to have made the right decision for me.
As a foreign first year student of international tourism and leisure management I have already had the chance to experience studying and living in a foreign environment. It has shown me how important it is to be open-minded but also that a considerable amount of interest in the country and culture I come from exists. This exchange of differences and knowledge was and still is one of the main factors influencing my personality and my abilities. Working in an international atmosphere and benefitting from it instead of letting it slow you down is a skill I have developed, not only for group assignments but also for my daily life within the Netherlands and anywhere else. I have learned that listening to different points of views and sharing them largely contributes to the work we do and that it is as important as being able to work individually, which is another strength I have been able to develop further.
All this can directly be linked to my motivation for going on exchange.
Within the tourism industry, every single international experience you make is an advantage, as it helps you to widen your horizon. Knowing about different trends and different approaches regions, countries or even continents and their schools take towards tourism is essential in this globally linked market.
On the other hand it is also important to be informed about the cultural differences that might influence the tourism industry. As cross cultural studies, a course that is also offered by NHTV, is of big interest to me, not only do I see it as a chance to get a first-hand experience but also as a chance to bring my experiences back to Breda to share them with my fellow students.
For my personal and academic future I want to develop the skills, knowledge and behaviors that are necessary to perform as a confident, independent person and as an active learner who is able to work individually as well as in groups. The NHTV and the three schools of my choice all provide the perfect foundation for that, as they demand a problem-solving way of working and give me the chance to apply what I have learned in classroom.
I have chosen Hong Kong and the United States of America as my destinations because both play an important role in tourism.
The continent of Asia has the second highest number of tourist arrivals worldwide, right after Europe. What makes it even more important is the 10% growth rate of the number of tourist arrivals, which makes it the second fastest growing destination.
Another reason for me to choose Hong Kong as my favourite destination is Asia’s leading edge position in the aviation market, the market I want to specialize in during my studies. With carriers like Singapore Airlines, Asia has been able to set new standards and trends.
On the other hand the United States of America are within the top 3 when it comes to tourism expenditures and the number of outbound tourists, which gives them an undeniable strength within the market.
This is why I see my future in tourism within an international surrounding, preferably in the aviation industry.
Going on an exchange is not a one-sided process. It is not only about getting new experiences yourself, it is also about sharing your experiences with others.
I am very keen on giving my future fellow students an insight into my culture to let them profit from my presence. I am also very keen on satisfying the exchange institution as well as the NHTV. I am determined to show high commitment and make use of my ability to easily relate to people and quickly adapt to new surroundings.
An exchange to one of my chosen destinations will enhance my profile and I look forward to hear from you soon.
Yours sincerely,
-
Delfino
- Anglo Veteran
- Beiträge: 1606
- Registriert: 3. Jul 2008 14:35
- Muttersprache: German
- Wohnort: UK
You may want to start your letter with a short introduction of yourself -
unless you have a cover letter or letter of recommendation, which does this already...
btw. at the moment your draft contains about 675 words
You may also want to consider the structure of your text.
Try to give all paragraphs a subheading (not to be included in the final text!!!)
[but post the subheadings for your next draft here...]
to be sure that you covered all the required areas you mentioned.
behaviours (BE) = behaviors (AE)
benefiting also benefitting
I think, I saw a few things I would express in a different way,
but I'm not a native speaker and a bit tired now...
unless you have a cover letter or letter of recommendation, which does this already...
btw. at the moment your draft contains about 675 words
You may also want to consider the structure of your text.
Try to give all paragraphs a subheading (not to be included in the final text!!!)
[but post the subheadings for your next draft here...]
to be sure that you covered all the required areas you mentioned.
behaviours (BE) = behaviors (AE)
benefiting also benefitting
I think, I saw a few things I would express in a different way,
but I'm not a native speaker and a bit tired now...
...is supplied without liability.
IELTS 7 Good user: operational command, occasional inaccuracies
IELTS 7 Good user: operational command, occasional inaccuracies
-
Schwadi
- Bilingual Newbie
- Beiträge: 3
- Registriert: 27. Dez 2008 14:55
- Muttersprache: deutsch
This is the latest version.
It now contains about 730 words . I dont know if I should keep the summary if my abilities in the first paragraph.
I now added the subheadings in bold. It is not easy to give each paragraph the clear paragraph structure.
I have to send the following documents with the letter of motivation:
- Curriculum vitae
- Copy of passport
- 2 passport photographs
- List of marks
so I don't think I have to write something about myself.
Have fun reading and I'm looking forward to your feedback
Dear Mr blabla,
I read your exchange brochure and the experience reports with great interest and I am now convinced I have made the right decision.
personal qualities and abilities to function in an international setting
As one of NHTV’s foreign first year student of international tourism and leisure management I have already had the chance to experience studying and living in a foreign environment.
It has shown me how important it is to be open-minded but also that a considerable amount of interest in the country and culture I come from exists. This exchange of differences and knowledge was and still is one of the main factors influencing my personality and my abilities.
Working in an international atmosphere and benefiting from it by widening your horizon instead of letting it slow you down is a skill I have developed, not only for group assignments but also for my daily life within the Netherlands and for my last stays in other countries like the United States. I have learned that listening to different points of views and sharing them largely contributes to the work we do and that it is as important as being able to work individually, which is a strength NHTV’s independent way of learning has helped me to develop further.
Summarized, the ability to live and work with other people, in multicultural environments, in positions where communication is important and situations where teamwork as well as individual work is essential are my strengths.
All this can directly be linked to my motivation for going on an exchange.
explanation of your motivation
Within the tourism industry, every single international experience you make is an advantage, as it helps you to widen your horizon.
Knowing about different trends and different approaches regions, countries or even continents and their schools take towards tourism is essential in this globally linked market.
On the other hand it is also important to be informed about the cultural differences that might influence the tourism industry. As I am very interested in cross cultural studies, a course that is also offered by NHTV, not only do I see it as a chance to get a first-hand experience but also as a chance to bring my experiences back to Breda to share them with my fellow students.
your academic & personal development
For my personal and academic future I would like to develop the skills, knowledge and behaviours that are necessary to perform as a confident, independent person and as an active learner who is able to work individually as well as in groups. The NHTV and the three schools of my choice all provide the perfect foundation for that, as they demand a problem-solving way of working and give me the chance to apply what I have already learned.
your knowledge of destination and why motivation for the destinations, plans for the future
I have chosen Hong Kong and the United States of America as my destinations because both play an important role in tourism and because, especially Hong Kong, is a destination with high cultural differences.
The continent of Asia has the second highest number of tourist arrivals worldwide, right after Europe. What makes it even more important is the 10% growth rate of the number of tourist arrivals, which makes it the second fastest growing destination.
Another reason for me to choose Hong Kong as my favourite destination is Asia’s leading edge position in the aviation market, the market I want to specialize in during my studies. With carriers like Singapore Airlines, Asia has been able to set new standards and trends.
On the other hand the United States of America are within the top three when it comes to tourism expenditures and the number of outbound tourists, which gives them an undeniable strength within the market.
This is why I see my future in tourism within an international surrounding, preferably in the aviation industry.
why you are the right
Going on an exchange is not a one-sided process. It is not only about obtaining new experiences yourself; it is also about sharing your experiences with others.
I am very keen on giving my future fellow students an insight into my culture to let them profit from my presence. I am also very keen on satisfying the exchange institution as well as the NHTV. I am determined to show high commitment and to make use of my ability to easily relate to people and quickly adapt to new surroundings.
An exchange to one of my chosen destinations will enhance my knowledge and I am looking forward to hearing from you soon.
It now contains about 730 words . I dont know if I should keep the summary if my abilities in the first paragraph.
I now added the subheadings in bold. It is not easy to give each paragraph the clear paragraph structure.
I have to send the following documents with the letter of motivation:
- Curriculum vitae
- Copy of passport
- 2 passport photographs
- List of marks
so I don't think I have to write something about myself.
Have fun reading and I'm looking forward to your feedback
Dear Mr blabla,
I read your exchange brochure and the experience reports with great interest and I am now convinced I have made the right decision.
personal qualities and abilities to function in an international setting
As one of NHTV’s foreign first year student of international tourism and leisure management I have already had the chance to experience studying and living in a foreign environment.
It has shown me how important it is to be open-minded but also that a considerable amount of interest in the country and culture I come from exists. This exchange of differences and knowledge was and still is one of the main factors influencing my personality and my abilities.
Working in an international atmosphere and benefiting from it by widening your horizon instead of letting it slow you down is a skill I have developed, not only for group assignments but also for my daily life within the Netherlands and for my last stays in other countries like the United States. I have learned that listening to different points of views and sharing them largely contributes to the work we do and that it is as important as being able to work individually, which is a strength NHTV’s independent way of learning has helped me to develop further.
Summarized, the ability to live and work with other people, in multicultural environments, in positions where communication is important and situations where teamwork as well as individual work is essential are my strengths.
All this can directly be linked to my motivation for going on an exchange.
explanation of your motivation
Within the tourism industry, every single international experience you make is an advantage, as it helps you to widen your horizon.
Knowing about different trends and different approaches regions, countries or even continents and their schools take towards tourism is essential in this globally linked market.
On the other hand it is also important to be informed about the cultural differences that might influence the tourism industry. As I am very interested in cross cultural studies, a course that is also offered by NHTV, not only do I see it as a chance to get a first-hand experience but also as a chance to bring my experiences back to Breda to share them with my fellow students.
your academic & personal development
For my personal and academic future I would like to develop the skills, knowledge and behaviours that are necessary to perform as a confident, independent person and as an active learner who is able to work individually as well as in groups. The NHTV and the three schools of my choice all provide the perfect foundation for that, as they demand a problem-solving way of working and give me the chance to apply what I have already learned.
your knowledge of destination and why motivation for the destinations, plans for the future
I have chosen Hong Kong and the United States of America as my destinations because both play an important role in tourism and because, especially Hong Kong, is a destination with high cultural differences.
The continent of Asia has the second highest number of tourist arrivals worldwide, right after Europe. What makes it even more important is the 10% growth rate of the number of tourist arrivals, which makes it the second fastest growing destination.
Another reason for me to choose Hong Kong as my favourite destination is Asia’s leading edge position in the aviation market, the market I want to specialize in during my studies. With carriers like Singapore Airlines, Asia has been able to set new standards and trends.
On the other hand the United States of America are within the top three when it comes to tourism expenditures and the number of outbound tourists, which gives them an undeniable strength within the market.
This is why I see my future in tourism within an international surrounding, preferably in the aviation industry.
why you are the right
Going on an exchange is not a one-sided process. It is not only about obtaining new experiences yourself; it is also about sharing your experiences with others.
I am very keen on giving my future fellow students an insight into my culture to let them profit from my presence. I am also very keen on satisfying the exchange institution as well as the NHTV. I am determined to show high commitment and to make use of my ability to easily relate to people and quickly adapt to new surroundings.
An exchange to one of my chosen destinations will enhance my knowledge and I am looking forward to hearing from you soon.