Essay correction

[M.F.]

Hello ladies and gentlemen,

I have a little problem and I hope that somebody can help me. I have passed my "Hauptschulabschluss" in 2002. After I worked as building site worker for a little bit more than three years. It is a really hard job and not to recommend. Later I had many little casual works. I started an education as bookkeeper. It was very depressy to transfer money which isn't yours the completely day.
I learned much and jumped over the 10th class. For one year I do my Abitur. My englishmark was okay at first but now the prediction of my english teacher is that i'm a 4 school boy. That isn't acceptable.

I would like a little essay and I hope that anybody find the time to correct my contribution.

Rain Man

I read the penguin reader Rain Man...

Rain Man by ... was written in .... The story is about an inheritance. (I've forgotten the names and dates). I'm going to call the peoples Brian, Esmiralda and Charlie. Brian is a not very sucessfull businessman. He sells cars like Lamborginies. Brian has financial problems. Then suddenly he gets a message. His father is died. He thinks his problems are solved. He drives to the funeral. But the lawyer of his father tells him that he only gets an old car. Three million dollars and the house goes to a him unknown person.
He searchs this person. He finds it. It is his authistic big brother. He needs a time to remember him because they was seperated many years ago. Brian wasn't older than four years. He remembers when Charlie says: "Rain Man". Rain Man was is invisible friend as he was a child. His father told him that Rain Man never excist... I'm to foul to end the story because I have to learn french...

Thanks to the corrector....

[Keswick]

Rain Man

I read the penguin reader Rain Man...

Rain Man by ... was written in .... The story is about an inheritance. (I've forgotten the names and dates). I'm going to call the peoples Brian, Esmiralda and Charlie. Brian is a not very sucessfull businessman. He sells cars like Lamborginies. Brian has financial problems. Then suddenly he gets a message. His father has died. He thinks his problems are solved. He drives to the funeral. But the lawyer of his father (besser: his father's lawyer) tells him that all he gets is an old car. Three million dollars and the house go to a person he does not know.
He searches this person. He finds it. It is his autistic big (besser: older) brother. He needs some time to remember him because they were separated many years ago. Brian wasn't older than four years when it happened. He remembers when Charlie says: "Rain Man". Rain Man was his invisible friend when he was a child. His father told him that Rain Man never existed... I'm to lazy to end the story because I have to learn French...

Wieso brichst du ab? War bis dahin doch okay.
Ist der Essay fuer dich oder fuer die Schule? Falls fuer die Schule, dann musst du unbedingt die Fakten einfuegen und den Schluss wuerde ich auch auf keinen Fall so lassen.