Könntet ihr den Text bitte auf Fehler durchsuchen`? (:

[HerNameIsAlex]

Hallo (:
Ich schreibe bald eine Englischarbeit und dort müssen wir ein Ende zu einer Geschichte schreiben.
Ich habe als Übung ein Ende zu einer Geschichte geschrieben wo es darum geht, dass ein Junge aufgrund einer Mutprobe in ein Haus enibricht und erwischt wird.

Letzen Sätze im Buch:
It was a small sound. It was a little cold click. I had never heard a sound quite like that before, but I knew exactly what it was. He had a gun.

Und mein Ende dazu:
I was shocked. Was I only imagined it? Or was this only a dream`? No, it was the reality.
Since that moment I don´t love the way the game made me feel anymore.
My whole body felt like a big stone. I couldn´t move anymore.
In my thoughts I knew that he would kill me. But I had luck because it was dark,
so he couldn´t see me.
But then the light goes on. At the first moment I don´t realized what happened. The light was blinding me. Then the man looked into my face, his face was full of hate. I looked trough the gun. Then he shoot. The last seconds of my life seemed to be like one hour. I felt the pain. Jared was right; I was not able to play this game. Now it was finished and I lost it. I only remembered that I wanted to cancel this burglary. Then everything turned into darkness.

[Josh]

Und mein Ende dazu:
I was shocked. Was I only imagined imagining it? Or was this only a dream`? No, it was the reality.
Since that moment I don´t didn't love the way the game made me feel anymore.
My whole body felt like a big stone. I couldn´t move anymore.
In my thoughts I knew (that) he would kill me. But I had luck was lucky because it was dark,
so he couldn´t see me.
But then the light goes turned on. At the first moment I don´t didn't realized what had happened. The light was blinding me. Then the man looked into my face, his face was full of hate. I looked through (at?) the gun. Then he shoot. The last seconds of my life seemed to be like one last for one hour. I felt the pain. Jared was right; I was not able to play this game. Now it was finished (or: over) and I had lost it. I only remembered (that) I wanted to cancel this burglary. Then everything turned into darkness.

This was a tricky, because I had to figure out in which tenses you wrote the story. I'm still not quite sure whether I've made any correction mistakes.

Anyways... so far.