jokes
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There is a new one for all of you:
A man comes home lat at night and finds his wife in the kitchen. She is very angry because he repeatedly forgott thei wedding aniversary. She tells him: "There'll better be something in the driveway by tomorrow, that gets from zero to 100 in 5 seconds."
The nex morning the husband gets up very early and leaves the house. In the afternoon, the woman finds a small package in the driveway. She wonders waht it coul be and unwraps it. A scale!
THe husband has never been seen again!
A man comes home lat at night and finds his wife in the kitchen. She is very angry because he repeatedly forgott thei wedding aniversary. She tells him: "There'll better be something in the driveway by tomorrow, that gets from zero to 100 in 5 seconds."
The nex morning the husband gets up very early and leaves the house. In the afternoon, the woman finds a small package in the driveway. She wonders waht it coul be and unwraps it. A scale!
THe husband has never been seen again!
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An old man lived alone in Idaho. He wanted to spade his potato garden, but it was very hard work. His only son, Bubba, who used to help him, was in prison. The old man wrote a letter to his son and described his predicament.
Dear Bubba,
I am feeling pretty bad because it looks like I won't be able to plant my potato garden this year. I'm just getting too old to be digging up a garden plot. If you were here, all my troubles would be over. I know you would dig the plot for me.
Love, Dad
A few days later he received a letter from his son.
Dear Dad:
For heaven's sake, dad, don't dig up that garden, that's where I buried the BODIES.
Love, Bubba
At 4 a.m. the next morning the FBI agents and local police showed up and dug up the entire area without finding any bodies. They apologized to the old man and left. That same day the old man received another letter from his son.
Dear Dad:
Go ahead and plant the potatoes now. That's the best I could do under the circumstances.
Love, Bubba.
Dear Bubba,
I am feeling pretty bad because it looks like I won't be able to plant my potato garden this year. I'm just getting too old to be digging up a garden plot. If you were here, all my troubles would be over. I know you would dig the plot for me.
Love, Dad
A few days later he received a letter from his son.
Dear Dad:
For heaven's sake, dad, don't dig up that garden, that's where I buried the BODIES.
Love, Bubba
At 4 a.m. the next morning the FBI agents and local police showed up and dug up the entire area without finding any bodies. They apologized to the old man and left. That same day the old man received another letter from his son.
Dear Dad:
Go ahead and plant the potatoes now. That's the best I could do under the circumstances.
Love, Bubba.
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Re: jokes
I have a nice story for you :
I went fishing this weekend, but after a short time I ran out of bait.
Then I saw a cotton-mouth water moccasin snake with a frog in his mouth. Frogs are good bass bait.
Knowing the snake couldn't bite me with the frog in his mouth I grabbed him right behind the head, took the frog, and put it in my bait bucket.
Now the dilemma was how to release the snake without getting bit. So, I grabbed my bottle of Jack Daniels and poured a little whiskey in its mouth.
His eyes rolled back, he went limp. I released him into the lake without incident and carried on fishing using the frog.
A little later, I felt a nudge on my foot.
There was that same snake ...now with two frogs in his mouth.
I went fishing this weekend, but after a short time I ran out of bait.
Then I saw a cotton-mouth water moccasin snake with a frog in his mouth. Frogs are good bass bait.
Knowing the snake couldn't bite me with the frog in his mouth I grabbed him right behind the head, took the frog, and put it in my bait bucket.
Now the dilemma was how to release the snake without getting bit. So, I grabbed my bottle of Jack Daniels and poured a little whiskey in its mouth.
His eyes rolled back, he went limp. I released him into the lake without incident and carried on fishing using the frog.
A little later, I felt a nudge on my foot.
There was that same snake ...now with two frogs in his mouth.