jokes

Alles zu Liedern, Filmen und anderen "netten" Sachen.
All about songs, films etc.
Antworten
zhu6582988
Bilingual Newbie
Beiträge: 2
Registriert: 20. Feb 2008 16:41
Muttersprache: chinese

jokes

Beitrag von zhu6582988 »

Wife talking to her husband (who reads newspaper all day): I wish I were a newspaper so I'll be in your hands all day.
Husband: I wish that too, so I could change you daily




janeladiaz83
Bilingual Newbie
Beiträge: 4
Registriert: 27. Feb 2008 04:48
Muttersprache: english

Beitrag von janeladiaz83 »

Whew! It tickles my bone :D

Eagleeye
Bilingual Newbie
Beiträge: 11
Registriert: 4. Feb 2008 10:13
Muttersprache: german

Beitrag von Eagleeye »

There is a new one for all of you:

A man comes home lat at night and finds his wife in the kitchen. She is very angry because he repeatedly forgott thei wedding aniversary. She tells him: "There'll better be something in the driveway by tomorrow, that gets from zero to 100 in 5 seconds."

The nex morning the husband gets up very early and leaves the house. In the afternoon, the woman finds a small package in the driveway. She wonders waht it coul be and unwraps it. A scale!

THe husband has never been seen again!

tha_boss
Bilingual Newbie
Beiträge: 5
Registriert: 6. Mär 2008 20:48
Muttersprache: GERMAN

Beitrag von tha_boss »

I like that jokes, they are very funny :D

UdoLindenberg
Bilingual Newbie
Beiträge: 5
Registriert: 17. Apr 2008 17:28
Muttersprache: German

Beitrag von UdoLindenberg »

I like them too :lol:

Hildegard
Tongue Twister
Beiträge: 40
Registriert: 20. Mai 2008 15:50
Muttersprache: Deutsch

Beitrag von Hildegard »

A woman went to the doctor’s office because she doesn’t feel very well. She has a saussage in her right ear, a zucchini in her left and a saltstick in her nose. What’s the matter with me, she desparately asks. The doctor answers “ You are not eating correctly.”

mhtp
Bilingual Newbie
Beiträge: 5
Registriert: 16. Apr 2009 16:00
Muttersprache: turkish

Beitrag von mhtp »

I like them:D

mhtp
Bilingual Newbie
Beiträge: 5
Registriert: 16. Apr 2009 16:00
Muttersprache: turkish

Beitrag von mhtp »

A: Am I the first man you have ever loved?
B: Of course. Wyh do you men always ask the same question to me?:)

A: Aren't you wearing your wedding ring on the wrong finger?
B: Yes I am, I married with the wrong woman.

Meee..
Bilingual Newbie
Beiträge: 2
Registriert: 2. Mai 2009 19:04
Muttersprache: German

Beitrag von Meee.. »

Women love cats.
Men say they love cats, but when women aren't looking, men kick cats.

Meee..
Bilingual Newbie
Beiträge: 2
Registriert: 2. Mai 2009 19:04
Muttersprache: German

Beitrag von Meee.. »

An old man lived alone in Idaho. He wanted to spade his potato garden, but it was very hard work. His only son, Bubba, who used to help him, was in prison. The old man wrote a letter to his son and described his predicament.



Dear Bubba,
I am feeling pretty bad because it looks like I won't be able to plant my potato garden this year. I'm just getting too old to be digging up a garden plot. If you were here, all my troubles would be over. I know you would dig the plot for me.
Love, Dad


A few days later he received a letter from his son.

Dear Dad:
For heaven's sake, dad, don't dig up that garden, that's where I buried the BODIES.
Love, Bubba



At 4 a.m. the next morning the FBI agents and local police showed up and dug up the entire area without finding any bodies. They apologized to the old man and left. That same day the old man received another letter from his son.



Dear Dad:
Go ahead and plant the potatoes now. That's the best I could do under the circumstances.
Love, Bubba.

Matze1993
Bilingual Newbie
Beiträge: 2
Registriert: 2. Jun 2009 11:57
Muttersprache: german

Beitrag von Matze1993 »

kommt ein deutscher in nen' amerikanischen Mc donals-laden

"I want to become a Cheeseburger"
"Oh, German I see."
"No, a Cheeseburger"

XD

yorsch
Bilingual Newbie
Beiträge: 3
Registriert: 6. Mär 2010 15:34
Muttersprache: Deutsch

Re: jokes

Beitrag von yorsch »

Teacher: What do you get if you multiply 8 by 7?
Student: 48.
Teacher: Wrong.
Student: But you asked me if I multiplied!

hihi :D

schreiberlich
Bilingual Newbie
Beiträge: 5
Registriert: 1. Jul 2010 15:00
Muttersprache: deutsch

Re: jokes

Beitrag von schreiberlich »

I have a nice story for you ;) :

I went fishing this weekend, but after a short time I ran out of bait.
Then I saw a cotton-mouth water moccasin snake with a frog in his mouth. Frogs are good bass bait.
Knowing the snake couldn't bite me with the frog in his mouth I grabbed him right behind the head, took the frog, and put it in my bait bucket.
Now the dilemma was how to release the snake without getting bit. So, I grabbed my bottle of Jack Daniels and poured a little whiskey in its mouth.
His eyes rolled back, he went limp. I released him into the lake without incident and carried on fishing using the frog.
A little later, I felt a nudge on my foot.
There was that same snake ...now with two frogs in his mouth.

Keswick
English Legend
Beiträge: 4795
Registriert: 30. Jul 2008 11:20
Muttersprache: Deutsch
Wohnort: Borough of Gateshead

Re: jokes

Beitrag von Keswick »

:big_thumb:Mint!
Bitte keine Korrektur- / Erklärungsanfragen per PN.
British English (BE) Sprecher.

caro64
Frequent Typer
Beiträge: 219
Registriert: 1. Jun 2010 12:39
Muttersprache: Englisch
Wohnort: Bayern

Re: jokes

Beitrag von caro64 »

When the queen goes to bed, do you think she pulls the duvet up to her chin and says....

"Look Phillip, I'm a stamp" :lol:

Antworten