text ! Kontrolle?

Alles zur englischen Grammatik.
How to deal with English grammar.
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fateful666
Bilingual Newbie
Beiträge: 6
Registriert: 9. Sep 2006 11:32

text ! Kontrolle?

Beitrag von fateful666 » 19. Nov 2006 21:06

hallo! ich habe einen text geschrieben (ein Geist erzählt von seinem Leben) und ich würde mich total freuen wenn mal jemand nach grammatik und zeitformen schaut! danke!!!!


In 1340 I was 25 years old and fallen in love with a beautiful girl. Her name was Miriam, her eyes were as blue as the ocean and her hair was soft like silk. Each day we spent together. I loved her so much and she loved me too. Even after some weeks we got married and moved into a very nice house with a big garden and a wonderful terrace. Over two years we were very happy and everything seemed to be perfect. But in the year of our Lord 1342 a big disaster happened. Since the 13th of September, the black day, my life has changed dramatically. We got up only at 10 o’clock in the morning because it was Saturday. The sun was shining and it was very warm outside. We worked a little bit in the garden and Miriam was in a good mood. She was looking beautiful like everyday. In the evening I went to my friend Howard because of a footballgame, which we wanted to watch on televisor. My lovely wife Miriam stayed at home. Alone!
I would never forgive me that I have failed her. When I went back home I could not believe what I saw. There were a crowd of people in front of our house. Many policemen, firemen and some other people stood in our garden. I had a look at our house but it was only a big black hill of rubble. Panic-stricken I was looking for Miriam but nowhere I could see her. Suddenly a policeman with red hair spooke to me. He said that one hour ago our house started to burn. After a very long break he cleared his throat and went on talking. “I am very sorry”, he said “but for your wife every help came too late.” I could not believe what the policeman said. Without Miriam my life would be pointless. I felt very guilty because I have left her in the lurch. Then I became depressive and one year later I died of loneliness. But not even in death my soul will rest.




drscannell
Topic Talker
Beiträge: 65
Registriert: 20. Nov 2006 03:28
Muttersprache: English
Wohnort: New Jersey, USA

Beitrag von drscannell » 21. Nov 2006 13:12

In 1340 I was 25 years old and fell in love with a beautiful girl. Her name was Miriam, her eyes were as blue as the ocean and her hair was soft like silk. We spent each day together. I loved her so much, and she loved me too. After a few weeks we got married and moved into a very nice house with a big garden and a wonderful terrace. For two years we were very happy; everything seemed to be perfect. But in the year of our Lord 1342, a big disaster happened. Since the 13th of September, the black day, my life has changed dramatically. We slept in until 10 o’clock in the morning because it was Saturday. The sun was shining, and it was very warm outside. We worked a little bit in the garden and Miriam was in a good mood. She was looking beautiful like always. In the evening I went to my friend Howard because of a football game, which we wanted to watch on television. My lovely wife Miriam stayed at home. Alone!
I can never forgive myself for having failed her. When I went back home I could not believe what I saw. There was a crowd of people in front of our house. Many policemen, firemen and some other people stood in our garden. I looked at our house but it was only a big black hill of rubble. Panic-stricken I was looking for Miriam but I could not see her anywhere. Suddenly a policeman with red hair spoke to me. He said that one hour ago our house started to burn. After a very long pause he cleared his throat and went on talking. “I am very sorry”, he said “but for your wife did not make it.” I could not believe what the policeman said. Without Miriam my life would be pointless. I felt very guilty because I had left her in the lurch. Then I became depressive and one year later I died of loneliness. But not even in death will my soul rest.


Both sad and funny. Nice job.

DeletedUser

Beitrag von DeletedUser » 24. Nov 2006 15:22

Die Geschichte an sich ist wirklich spitze. Riesiges Lob an dich. :wink:

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