Bitte um Korrektur

Hier könnt ihr Sätze und kurze Texte zum Korrigieren einstellen.
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miela
Bilingual Newbie
Beiträge: 5
Registriert: 27. Mär 2019 12:46
Muttersprache: deutsch

Bitte um Korrektur

Beitrag von miela »

Hallo kann hier mal jemand drüber lesen und /  oder Tipps zur Verbesserung geben?
Danke :-)

Imagine you had an accident last week. Tell a friend about it. Write 120–150
words. (Stellen Sie sich vor, Sie hatten letzte Woche einen Unfall. Berichten Sie
einem Freund darüber. Schreiben Sie 120–150 Wörter.)

Last week i had an accident. It was terrible. A truck drove into my car. I tried to brake but it was to late i couldn´t do anything.  I heard a  bang and than, nothing. It was quit. I looked arround. I could move my arms and legs i thought i was okay. I went out of my car. I saw the other driver and asked hin if he didn´t see me? He didn´t  give me an answer. I was shoked. A lot of people saw us and drove away. No one stopped. Noone asked about helping. I called the police because i was scared. The came and asked me if i was hurting. I didn´t know that. They called a ambulance. They brought me in a hospital.  I wasn´t okay. I had an traumatic brain injury. 




Duckduck
Anglo Master
Beiträge: 3483
Registriert: 1. Okt 2009 14:25
Muttersprache: Deutsch

Re: Bitte um Korrektur

Beitrag von Duckduck »

miela hat geschrieben: Hallo kann hier mal jemand drüber lesen und /  oder Tipps zur Verbesserung geben? Hi miela, das mache ich gerne!
Danke :-)

Imagine you had an accident last week. Tell a friend about it. Write 120–150
words. (Stellen Sie sich vor, Sie hatten letzte Woche einen Unfall. Berichten Sie
einem Freund darüber. Schreiben Sie 120–150 Wörter.)

Last week I had an accident. It was terrible. A truck drove (head on) into my car / hit my car / crashed into my car.
I tried to brake but it was too late - I couldn´t do anything. 
I heard a bang and then, nothing. Everything was quiet. I looked arround, moving my head very slowly.
Then I tried to move my arms and legs, they seemed to work fine, so I thought I was okay.
I got out of my car. The front end was a complete mess.
The truckdriver had got out of his truck too and I saw the other driver and asked him if he hadn't seen me.
He didn't give me an answer. I was in shock and so was he, I imagine.
A lot of people saw us and drove by. No one stopped. No one asked if we needed any help.
I called the police because I was scared. They came and asked me if I was hurt. I didn´t know that. They called an ambulance and I was taken to the hospitalIt turned out I wasn't okay. I had an traumatic brain injury. 

So, miela. Insgesamt gut gemacht, aber die Farbigkeit zeigt doch: da ist noch ein bisschen Luft nach oben.  :)
Einige Anmerkungen:
- "I" wird immer groß geschrieben.
- "zu" vor einem Adjektiv wird "too".
- "than" heißt "als" und kommt nur bei Vergleichen vor (Pete is bigger than Tom.). "dann / danach" ist "then".
- "...I asked him if he hadn't seen me." -> Past Perfect ist hier nötig, weil es sich um indirekte Rede handelt und die Zeitform um eine Stufe in die Vergangenheit gerückt werden muss (backshift).
Grüße
Duckduck
Mein Farbcode für Korrekturen:
Fehler / Stil/Ausdruck / Anmerkung

miela
Bilingual Newbie
Beiträge: 5
Registriert: 27. Mär 2019 12:46
Muttersprache: deutsch

Re: Bitte um Korrektur

Beitrag von miela »

Danke für deine schnelle Hilfe

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