Help me, please!

[Mankomania]

Hey Leute, meine freundin schreibt morgen Englisch und hat mich gefragt, ob ich ihren Text auf fehler durchsuchen kann. Könnt ihr vielleicht sagen ob ihr noch welche findet::danke:
Elliot is black. He lives with his mother, two sisters and three brothers in a bad area. But two of his brothers are in prison. Marvin is Elliot's best friend. He and Marvin often play basketball in the park. Elloit is not good at school. One day Elliot's teacher asked him where he lives. But Elliot put the finger on Australia. A girl shouted: " No, you live here in the USA:" Elliot will become an athlete. Elloit had touched anything since he had broken into a store.

[$pidermonkey]

Elliot is black. He lives with his mother, two sisters and three brothers in a bad area. But two of his brothers are in prison. Marvin is Elliot's best friend. He and Marvin often play basketball in the park. Elloit is not good at school. One day Elliot's teacher asked him where he lived. [strike]But[/strike] Elliot put the finger on Australia. A girl shouted: " No, you live here in the USA." Elliot will (besser: wants to) become an athlete. Elliot had touched anything (?) since he [strike]had[/strike] broke into a store.

Zu Anfang ganz gut, später wird es etwas konfus. Du kommst von seinem Wohnort auf Elliots Zukunftspläne und dann sagst du auf einmal, dass er nichts mehr anfassen wird. Was ist genau der Sinn bei dem Wohnortskonflikt? Und das mit dem Einbruch müsstest du auch erläutern.

[Mankomania]

Danke für deine Hilfe. Ich werde es mit meiner freundin durchsprechen.

[$pidermonkey]

okay, np