retsiwt hat geschrieben:Hi retsiwt, dann wollen wir mal sehen.
Lassen wir die Frage nach der beabsichtigten Art des Textes einfach mal beiseite, so bleibt trotzdem ein Eindruck von "hier stimmt was nicht", den ich erst nach mehrmaligem Lesen benennen kann: die beschriebene Situation und die Sprache passen einfach nicht zusammen. Eine arme, verwitwete, verzweifelte Mutter macht sich Sorgen und Vorwürfe - aber ihre Sprache ist eher hochgestochen und die Konstruktion der Sätze manchmal übermäßig kompliziert (eher deutsch als englisch...). Das heiß überhaupt nicht, dass es sich um fehlerhaftes Englisch handeln würde, sondern nur um der Situation nicht angepasstes. Deshalb mache ich eher
Vorschläge bzgl. Stil und Ausdruck, OK?
Hier noch mal eine leicht veränderte Variante:
Now I am sitting here without
any idea / a clue what will happen next.
I’ve lost my husband and have to deal with the situation of raising my children.
-> My husband is dead / gone and I'll have to bring up the children by myself.
But why has fate chosen me to gain that painful experience?
-> Why me? What have I done to deserve this?
I am confronted with doubts and fears, but as long as my children love me, I will try everything to start a new phase of our life without any worries about famine or having no place to sleep.
-> I'm not sure I can handle this! With no money in the bank, what will I do about food and a place to live? Oh, but there has to be a way to cope - as long as we love each other - we will find a way!
At the moment, I feel depressed and helpless, but I know that there will appear a light at the end of the tunnel if I believe in myself. ->
No wonder I'm down right now, I'm in shock and who can blame me. But as they say, where there's life, there's hope. One step at a time, I'll do it. I know I can do it!
I blame myself for not being able to give my children a better place to live, to help them to change their lives and prevent them from getting into the same position I am in.
-> Seems I wasn't a huge success as a role model for the kids in the past. This place is disgusting, I have to show them the way out of here, out of this way of life.
It’s me who shows them the negative aspects of life, how hard it can be to live on earth.
-> So far, most of the things they know and have seen are dirt, hunger and violence.
However, they are still so young and shouldn’t have to deal with such a situation at this young age.
-> At their age, they should never have seen fighting drunks in the street or come home to find there's no food in the house.
We are suffering from famine and poor living conditions, needing the help of others, which isn’t the side of life my children should experience.
-> Until now our life has been a disgrace, we can't get by without others helping us, kids shouldn't have to grow up like this.
So, I will work even harder and hope for more support to make their lives as good as possible.
OK
So, das sind meine Vorschläge, Du merkst, es ist ein ganz anderer Sprachstil. Natürlich Geschmackssache und nochmal ganz deutlich: Dein Englisch ist keinesfalls falsch gewesen, nur etwas zu kompliziert und hochgestochen.
Grüße
Duckduck