Danksagungen in einer Bachelorarbeit

[Artur]

Hallo liebes Forum, ich bin gerade dabei meine Bachelorarbeit auf englisch zu schreiben und benötige bei manchen Dingen Hilfe. Im Moment bin ich bei den Danksagungen (Acknowledgments) und bin mir nicht sicher, ob die Sätze, die ich verfasst habe so geschrieben werden dürfen. Vielleicht könntet Ihr kurz drüberschauen und mir sagen, was daran nicht ok ist. Ich freue mich ebenfalls über neue Ideen oder Kritik am Schreibstil.


Acknowledgments

Before we address the actual topic of this bachelor thesis, we must say how much obliged we are for being able to make this experience. Spending a moderate amount of time in one of the poorest nations in the world has an impact on your mindset and on your life.
We would not have been able to make this journey without the help of X and Y. Many thanks for getting us in touch with Z, supervising us during our project and providing us with some electronic devices from X GmbH.
The individual, who made the whole trip possible is X. We thank for the help with the visa, the flats and our project. We were very lucky to be supervised by this wonderful person, being always there for us, when we needed help.
X made sure that we could use the renewable laboratory with all its measurement devices to work on our project. Also we thank for helping us getting measurement data from the local meteorology station.
We are much obliged for the help of X. This very kind person provided local measurement data for our project without any self-profit.
One of the most beautiful things in life is to meet people like X and Y. These two basically saved our life, by taking care of us during the first weeks of our stay in X Country. They showed us many things about X Country culture and helped us in many situations. We wish the best for their future in X Country.
Many thanks to X for joining us on our visit to both villages and helping us communicate with the locals. We wish the best for the future of this wonderful person and hope, that his dream of his own electronics shop come true.
On a final note, I thank X for showing me many things about X Country and its culture. It was fun to spend time and explore X City with this kind person.

Zudem habe ich eine Frage bzgl. Groß- und Kleinschreibung von Titeln in einem Fließtext. Werden solche Dinge wie "Dean of Renewable Department X" oder "Materials Engineering Student Y" oder "Data Users’ and Dissemination Expert Z" groß geschrieben? Vielen Dank im Voraus.
Artur

[Keswick]

Hi Artur,

Eine kurze Frage bevor ich deinen Text verbessere: muss eine solche Danksagung in der wir-Form geschrieben sein, oder haben mehrere Personen an der Arbeit mitgewirkt?

Zu deiner Frage zur Gross- und Kleinschreibung: Titel im Fliesstext werden wie in deinem Beispiel gross geschrieben.

Viele Gruesse
Keswick

[Artur]

Hallo Keswick, und danke für deine Hilfe! Die Arbeit wurde von zwei personen (eine davon bin ich) erstellt. Ob sie in der Wir-Form geschrieben sein muss weiß ich nicht genau. Sollten nicht beide Autoren Dankeschön sagen?

[Duckduck]

Hi Artur,

ich denke, man könnte den Text etwas eleganter und kürzer gestalten, ohne aber Personen herauszunehmen, denen gedankt wird. Dafür müßtest Du aber die Xs und Ys aufschlüsseln, d.h. für jede unterschiedliche Person einen anderen Buchstaben wählen, damit ich sehen kann, wem für was gedankt wird. Dann gehe ich gerne mal dran. Es ist allerdings auch jetzt nicht so, dass der Text völlig unverständlich oder voller Fehler wäre, man kann ihn aber eben "englischer" machen...

Grüße
Duckduck

[Artur]

Sorry, dass ich mich so unregelmäßig melde. Hier ist die Version mit Personennamen, die alphabetisch durch Großbuchstaben ersetzt wurden. Es sollte sich kein Name wiederholen.


Acknowledgments

Before we address the actual topic of this bachelor thesis, we must say how much obliged we are for being able to make this experience. Spending a moderate amount of time in one of the poorest nations in the world has an impact on your mindset and on your life.

We would not have been able to make this journey without the help of A and B. Many thanks for getting us in touch with C, supervising us during our project and providing us with some electronic devices from D GmbH.

The individual, who made the whole trip possible is E. We thank for the help with the visa, the flats and our project. We were very lucky to be supervised by this wonderful person, being always there for us, when we needed help.

F made sure that we could use the renewable laboratory with all its measurement devices to work on our project. Also we thank for helping us getting measurement data from the local meteorology station.

We are much obliged for the help of G. This very kind person provided local measurement data for our project without any self-profit.

One of the most beautiful things in life is to meet people like H and I. These two basically saved our life, by taking care of us during the first weeks of our stay in Ethiopia. They showed us many things about Ethiopian culture and helped us in many situations. We wish the best for their future.

Many thanks to J for joining us on our visit to both villages and helping us communicate with the locals. We wish the best for the future of this wonderful person and hope, that his dream of his own electronics shop come true.

On a final note, I thank K for showing me many things about Ethiopia and its culture. It was fun to spend time and explore Adama with this kind person.

[Duckduck]

Wie gesagt, es waren keineswegs so viele Fehler in eurem Text, dass man ihn nicht hätte nehmen können, aber die Formulierung von Danksagungen an mehrere Personen ist immer schwierig, weil man krampfhaft bemüht ist, Abwechslung hineinzubringen. Hier mein Vorschlag, der natürlich Geschmackssache ist, aber die etwas gewollt wirkende Abwechslung einfach umgeht:

Acknowledgments

The experience of spending some time in one of the world's poorest nations has certainly had a a lasting effect on our mindsets and future lives. Thus, before addressing the actual topic of this bachelor thesis, we would like to express our deep gratitude to the following persons for supporting us in many different ways.

Thank you so much:
- A and B, for getting us in touch with C, supervising us during our project and providing us with some electronic devices from D GmbH. Without your help we would not have been able to make this journey.

- E, for making the whole trip possible by helping with the visa, the flats and our project and generally being always there to support and supervise us.

- F, for enabling us to use the renewable laboratory with all its measurement devices to work on our project and to get the measurement data from the local meteorology station.

- G, for kindly and without any self-profit providing the local measurement data for our project.

- H and I, for basically saving our lives by taking care of us during the first weeks of our stay in Ethiopia, introducing us to some aspects of Ethopian culture and helping out in many situations. Meeting people like them is a priceless gift and we wish them all the best for their future.

- J, for joining us on our visit to both villages and helping us communicate with the locals. We wish him all the best for his future and that the dream of his own electronics shop may come true.

On a final note, I would like to thank K for showing me many things about Ethiopia and its culture. Spending time and exploring Adama with this kind person was a lot of fun.

[Artur]

Die Sätze sind wirklich sehr schön. Vielen Dank!  
Und genau passend einen Tag vor dem Ausrucken.

Artur