Please Correction

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Hakim
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Please Correction

Beitrag von Hakim »

Hi! I wrote a text about the island Ireland and the conflict with Northern Ireland. I hope someone can help me to correct my text. Thanks
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The island, which lies to the left of Great- Britain, has a bloody past. These bloody past began already in the 17th century. In the year 1690 the Protestant King William of Orange defeated the Catholic King James II in a battle, which is named 'The Battle of Boyne'. As a symbol of the Protestant power and supremacy, many Protestants celebrate every year on this day the 'Orangemen'
But thenceforward began the violence to each other. The famous rebellion from Dublin in year 1916, which is named Easter Rising, was defeated by the English warrior.
Between 1919- 1921 was the war of independence, which was ended with the foundation of the free state Ireland. This was recognized by the English prime-minister Lloyd George on 9th December 1921 too. The bitter pill: The island was shared. Northern Ireland belongs on own request to Great-Britain. Great-Britain wanted, that Ireland still stayed a member of the Commonwealth.
But not all people in Northern Ireland wanted to belongs to Great-Britain. In Northern Ireland live a part of Protestants and a part of Catholics. Both groups have attacked each other, but since the signing of the Good Friday Agreement by the politician, the people in Northern Ireland live in peace. But as this signing came, many innocents were already killed by terror organisations of Protestants or Catholics- sadly. For example on the Bloody Sunday or Bloody Friday.
Of course Northern Ireland has a bad reputation; in the TV you often see bombs, violence and blasts. But you shouldn't believe all what you see in the TV. In addition Northern Ireland has some beautiful cities, for example Belfast, which is the capital, or Londonderry, which is just made for youths. Also since many years you heard anything about attacks by the IRA, a terror organisation by fanatical Catholics. Since many years we also haven't heard anything about attacks by the IRA, a terror organisation by fanatical Catholics. The whole world can see, that Protestants and Catholics can live together in peace. Northern Ireland is a place with so many contrasts.




joy
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Re: Please Correction

Beitrag von joy »

Hakim hat geschrieben:Hi! I wrote a text about the island Ireland and the conflict with Northern Ireland. I hope someone can help me to correct my text. Thanks
______________________



The island Ireland, which lies to the left of Great Britain, has a bloody past. TheseThisbloody pastIt began already in the 17th century. In the year 1690 the Protestant King William of Orange defeated the Catholic King James II in a battle, which is named 'The Battle of Boyne'. As a symbol of the Protestant power and supremacy, many Protestants celebrate the ‘Orangemen’ every year on this day the 'Orangemen'.But thenceforward began the violence between each other began. The famous rebellion from Dublin in year 1916, which is named Easter Rising, was defeated by the English warrior.
Between 1919- 1921 was the war of independence, which was ended with the foundation of the Irish Free State Ireland. This was recognized by the English prime minister Lloyd George on 9th December 1921 too. The bitter pill: The island was merged with Great Britain. Northern Ireland belongs on own request to Great Britain. Great Britain wanted, that Ireland still stayed wanted Ireland to stay a member of the Commonwealth.
But not all people in Northern Ireland wanted to belong to Great Britain. In Northern Ireland live a part of Protestants and a part of Catholics. Protestants as well as Catholics lived and still live in Northern Ireland. Both groups have attacked each other, but since the signing of the Good Friday Agreement by the politicians, the people in Northern Ireland have lived in peace. But as this signing came, many innocents were had already been killed by terror organisations of Protestants or Catholics- sadly. For example on the Bloody Sunday or Bloody Friday.
Of course Northern Ireland has a bad reputation; in the on TV you often see bombs, violence and blasts. But you shouldn't believe all what everything you see in the on TV. In addition, Northern Ireland has some beautiful cities, for example Belfast, which is the capital, or Londonderry, which is just made for youths. Also since many years you heard anything about attacks by the IRA, a terror organisation by fanatical Catholics. Since For many years we also haven't heard anything about attacks by the IRA, a terror organisation by fanatical Catholics. The whole world can see that Protestants and Catholics can live together in peace. Northern Ireland is a place with so many contrasts.

Liebe Grüsse joy


Hakim
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Re: Please Correction

Beitrag von Hakim »

Sind schwarze Schriften Verbesserungsvorschläge oder Fehler? :)

JWizzle
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Re: Please Correction

Beitrag von JWizzle »

A few suggestions:

All instances of "Great Britain" apart from the first one should be changed to "the United Kingdom" or "the UK" or "Britain".

It began already in the 17th century.
This translation of "schon" is not idiomatic in English. Rephrase this as "It began as early as the 17th century." or something similar to that.

... many Protestants celebrate the 'Orangemen' every year on this day.
A better way would be "on this day every year".

... which is named Easter Rising...
It's named the Easter Rising.

was defeated by the English warrior.
by the British military.

Between 1919- 1921...
The hyphen means "to". "Between 1919 to 1921" is incorrect. Use either "From 1929 to 1921" or "Between 1919 and 1921".

... which was ended with the foundation of the Irish Free State.
It makes sense, but sounds better in the active voice: "which ended with the foundation..."

the English prime minister Lloyd George
Lloyd George was not English. He was Welsh. But he was the British Prime Minister.

The island was shared. Northern Ireland belongs on own request to Great-Britain.
This is poorly phrased. The island was split/partitioned, with Northern Ireland remaining by its own request part of the United Kingdom.

Londonderry, which is just made for youths.
I don't know what this is supposed to mean.

Otherwise, well written!

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