Bitte um Ratschläge für writing skill

[vetoleg]

Hello people


Ich bin ganz frisch hier und hoffe, dass mir geholfen wird. Bitte, bitte


Also ich möchte bald meinen TOEFL Test machen und schärfe meine Fähigkeiten , nur das schreiben ist eine Plage, daher die Frage:


Gibt es eine Möglichkeit dies zu trainieren und sich effektiv zu überprüfen. Ein Buch oder eine Übungseinheit.
Ich kann mir gerade kein Unterricht leisten und ziehe das mehr oder weniger alleine durch.
Bin für jeden Rat dankbar und danke im Voraus

[Duckduck]

Hi vetoleg und willkommen im Forum!

Nun, schreiben kannst Du ja so viel wie Du willst! Das ist immer eine gute Übung.

Das Problem ist, dass Du jemanden brauchst, der Dir die möglichen Fehler benennt bzw. bei den Formulierungen Tipps gibt. Und da bist Du hier ganz richtig!

Außerdem gibt es Seiten, auf denen Listen mit gängigen Formulierungen gesammelt sind, die man beim Schreiben z.B. eines summary oder sonstigen Textes bei den Übergängen verwenden kann. Solche Zusammenstellungen helfen sehr, man darf sie aber natürlich nicht übermäßig oft anwenden.

Also schreibe doch hier etwas, wir schauen es dann nach!

Noch ein Tipp, da Du für einen konkreten Testt lernen willst, google doch mal rum, welche Art von Texten beim TOEFL so gefordert werden. Dann hast Du einen Ansatz, worüber Du schreiben könntest.

Good luck says
Duckduck

[vetoleg]

Danke dir Duckduck für schnelle Antwort.
Dann fange ich mal an.


Hello
My name ist Oleg and I´m from Berlin. The last half of year was a bit rough for me becose I had my staatsexamen and the main time was spent sitting in my chair and learning.
But one test more to go and I´m done with that. After that I´m a veterinarian and according to my plans an adventure is waiting for me. I have to earn some money and gather some experience in my field of work. After that just freedom. I´m intending to go to Canada and try to get my licence akwnoledged so I can try my luck on onather part of the world and compensate all this boring sitting time of my life. You´ll ask why particular this country. It ´s easy. Canada has cheap land with almost unaltered nature, so I can buy my land and call it my home!
Those are dreams but I´m really looking forwad to fulfilling them. There are obstacles on the way to struggle with. One of them is the fact that I need money and a young veterinarian in Germany doesn´t earn much to save up for a plan like this. The second obstacle is the akwnolegment in Canada. You need a bunch of money a lot of time and a lot of learning. Becose this akwnoledgement encloses 3 big tests - 2 theoretical and one practical over 3 days. You get checked through the whole field of veterinary science and that in English.
No piece of cake. But every probleme has to be approached at the easiest first stride than second a bit complicated and so on. So I´m dealing with my skills for TOEFL. I decided to make this test in Berlin in order to have it out of the way . All of my skills are already trained and I have a steady level in that but writing. I´ve learned english almoast alone but writing necessitates help. So I´m here and I really appreceate your help Mr. doubleduck. Thanks.

[Duckduck]

Danke dir Duckduck für die schnelle Antwort.
Dann fange ich mal an.

Privet Oleg! (Kyrillische Buchstaben kann mein Compi nicht). Dann wollen wir mal sehen!

Hello!
My name ist Oleg and I'm from Berlin. The last six months were a bit rough for me because I took my state examination and spent most of my time sitting on my chair (and) studying.
But now it's only one more test to go and I'm done.with that. Then I will be a veterinarian and if all goes according to plan, an adventure is waiting for me. I will have to earn some money and gather some experience in my field of work first, but after that - just freedom. I'm planning to move to Canada and try to get my licence acknowledged there. Then I could try my luck in another part of the world and thus be compensated for all this boring sitting and learning. You'll ask: why this country? It's easy. Land is cheap in Canada and in many parts of it the countryside is almost unspoiled. So I will be able to buy some land and call it my home!
These are only dreams as yet, but I'm really looking forward to fulfilling them. There are obstacles to struggle with on the way, though. One of them is the fact that I need money and a young veterinarian in Germany doesn't quite earn enough to easily save up for a plan like this. The second obstacle is the acknowlegement of my licence in Canada. You need a bunch of money, a lot of time and a lot of studying. Because the acknowledgement procedure takes 3 days and comprises 3 big tests - 2 of them theoretical and one practical. The tests are in English, of course, and cover the whole field of veterinary science.
That's no piece of cake!
But every probleme can be solved. You just have to take it one step at a time, starting with the first step and let the others follow. So that's why I'm improving my English skills for TOEFL. I have decided to sit this test in Berlin in order to have it out of the way. I'm quite happy with my English speaking and grammar skills, but writing is a bit of a problem still. Though most of my English is self-taught, for the writing I need some help. So here I am and I'd really appreciate your help Mrs. !!! doubleduck. Thanks.

You're welcome, Oleg!

Sehr gut gemacht und dass jetzt doch eine ganze Menge bunt ist hat meist etwas mit dem Ausdruck/Stil zu tun. Es gibt ja einen ziemlichen Unterschied zwischen "noch gut verständlich" und "idiomatisch". Und vieles ist natürlich auch Geschmackssache. Mein Tipp jetzt mal: schau Dir meine Anmerkungen zunächst an und wo Du gar nicht weißt, was an Deinem Vorschlag nicht stimmte, frage nach. Dann müssen wir versuchen, ob wir das geklärt bekommen. Meine Vorschläge sind natürlich keineswegs die einzig mögliche Lösung, nöch?!

Viele Grüße
Duckduck

[vetoleg]

Sorry für die männliche Bezeichnung, natürlich Mrs. Doubleduck.
Iich bin sehr dankbar sowie überrascht, wie gut das ging. Also es ist genau das, was mir fehlt. Das ist der Weg, wie ich das Problem lösen kann!
Darf ich dein Hilfeangebot jeden Tag nutzen oder 3 mal die Woche oder wie du das bestimmst. Das nimmt natürlich eine Menge deiner Zeit weg und ich möchte nicht frech werden, aber meine Finger jucken, um dir weiteres zu schreiben! Also sag, ob ich darf´s.

Ich hab das in eine Word Datei eingefügt und bearbeitet, um das zu verinnerlichen. Es hört sich so schön an, seit du´s korrigiert hast!!! Danke schnön!!!

[Duckduck]

Hi Oleg,

danke für das Danke und gern geschehen! Du kannst gerne Texte einstellen und sobald einer hier im Forum Zeit hat, werden sie korrigiert bzw. durchgesehen. Das muss natürlich nicht immer die Ente sein, insofern: stelle nur ein, immer zu!, allerdings wirst Du vielleicht manchmal etwas warten müssen, ja?!

Viele Grüße
Duckduck

[vetoleg]

Super

Recently I and my friends went to Paris by bus. After reading and hearing so much about this historic remarcable place we had big expectations.
And all the more it was a big disappointment. Don´t take it wrong I liked the centre and the Eifel tower with the bunch of museums, but all the ghettos with all gray and filthy buildings schowed the true face of Paris. The people were nice disregarding my lack of french and just english to orient through the city. The food was very delecious, although I couldn´t afford to taste really interisting stuff like frogs and snails. So the prices weren´t so expensive how people told me before the jorney started.
Traffic in Paris deserves an extra day to tell about. It just so crazy chaotic. Every second I had the feeling that someone just will chrash in the bus or the bus will run off the road some motorcicle drivers. How our driwer said later to me - on Paris´roads dominates orderly chaos.

But after all the best part was to come home and feel this warm sensation of welll-known Berlin with big streets , green allees( Paris laks our greenish soroundings)and polite people. And though it was a short trip just for 3 days , the change itself was nice.

After the 3 days I came home and brought my dog home from a good friend who looked after her the time. It was interesting to watch my dog because she was first time apart from me for such a long time and she was so irritated how to deal with it, that I need a week to let her percieve the normal feeling. But tiil yet sometime I see this feeling in her eyes- You are going to dissapere I better have an eye on you. So I have to let her sit in bathrom even if I´m bathing or just teeth brushing.

On the road and at home I read a book that´s really fascinating. It explains modern physic´s theories to people like me who doesn´t have anything to do with physik. It´s one of my hobbies astrophysik and popular sience at all. But sometimes I have this feeling dominanting myself ther is not enough time an space in my head for this universe and the rules of it. But I think I´m not alone with this conclusion; I know certain that I know nothing.

[Duckduck]

Hi Oleg, dann wollen wir mal wieder! Jetzt schreibe ich Dir auch ein paar Anmerkungen zu meinen Korrekturen/Vorschlägen.
Unabhängig davon eine Bitte: Du schreibst über weite Teile sehr schön, aber kannst Du trotzdem bei den etwas schwierigeren Wörtern auch selbstständig die Rechtschreibung überprüfen. Diese Fehler müssen ja nicht sein, nöch?!


A little while ago my friends and I went to Paris by bus. ("recently" ist nicht direkt falsch, wird aber meistens als Ausdruck der wirklich sehr nahen Vergangenheit verwendet und deshalb meistens mit Present Perfect. Höflicher ist die Nennung der anderen Person(en) am Anfang und Deiner selbst an 2. Stelle) After reading and hearing so much about this historically (das muss hier ein Adverb sein, weil es sich auf ein Adjektiv bezieht und es beschreibt) remarkable place we had cherished great expectations.
But we were in for a big disappointment. Do not take it the wrong way/Do not get me wrong, (Schreibe in einem Prüfungstext keine Kurzformen, sondern immer die Langform. Es sei denn, Du sollst einen gesprochenen Dialog verfassen) I liked the Eiffel Tower (Eigennamen groß schreiben, Reihenfolge verändert, damit der Anschluss gleich besser kommt) and the city centre with all its (bunch of dies ist ein eher AmE colloquialism, der nicht zu oft in der Schriftform vorkommt, denke ich, jedenfalls eher nicht bei einer Prüfung) museums, churches and old buildings. (Give Paris its due, it really has a lot of beautiful architecture!). However, we also saw the reverse of the medal: the ghettos ("ghetto" hat eine etwas andere Bedeutung, will mir scheinen, vielleicht wäre hier besser: the poor living quarters/the poor suburbs) with loads of gray and filthy buildings.

The French people were nice, given that I do not speak any French (Nationalitäten groß schreiben) and could only use my English for finding my way around the city. The food was very delicious, although I could not afford to try the more interesting stuff like frogs and snails. All in all, the prices were not as high as people had told me before the journey started.

But now for the traffic in Paris. This subject would deserve an extra day to talk about. It is just so crazy and chaotic. All the time, I expected some car or other to crash into us or our bus to force a car or motorbike off the road. To quote our driver: On the streets of Paris orderly chaos rules.

As with all journeys, the best part of it was to come home and enjoy the warm sensation of my Berlin with its big/wide streets, green avenues ("alleys" sind im Englischen die "Gassen", deutsche "Alleen" sind "avenues") (Paris lacks our greenish surroundings) and polite people. And though it was only a three-day trip, the change itself was nice.

As soon as I was back, I fetched my dog home from a good friend who had looked after her. It was interesting to watch my dog's behavior, because this had been the first time we were apart for a longer period. She was so irritated that it took her a week to get back to normal. But even now I sometimes see this feeling in her eyes - "You are going to dissapeare again, I had better have half an eye on you!" So I have to let her stay in the bathrom with me while having a bath or brushing my teeth.

Wherever I am, I am reading a really fascinating book, at the moment. It explains the theories of modern physics to people like me, who do not know the first thing about it. Astrophysics and popular science are my hobbies. But sometimes I get this feeling that there simply is not enough time (nor personal brain capacity) to grasp even the tiniest fraction of this universe and its rules. But I do not think I am alone with this conclusion; I know for certain that I know nothing.


Schöner Text, jetzt hast Du so einige Dinge zum Nachdenken und Nachfragen, wenn Du magst.
Weiter so!!!

Grüße
Duckduck

P.S. Vielleicht guckst Du mal im Netz, was bei den TOFL Tests so für Aufsatzthemen drankommen. Da gibt es ja sogar Foren zu. Schau doch mal bei
http://www.google.de/search?client=fire ... 12f1ec8b26

[vetoleg]

Hi Duckduck
Vielen Dank für die schöne Korrektur. Es wird einfach so richtig nach deiner Bearbeitung, dass es ein Genuss ist zu lernen. Lange schwere Wörter gucke ich nach, srry!
Ich habe mir jetzt so ein TOEFL-Buch besorgt und arbeite daran rund um die Uhr. Ich hoffe das hilft.


Every day I think about the world. We are a planet in the milk way with 7 billions people on that and a numerous of other species. Our solar system is 6 billions years old and will get around 11 biilions before the sun is going to die.
The world and every particular in it is full of detailes on every tiny level. Everything is complicated and that is the way of being natural beautiful.
And than we have human beings, evolved from being existent to be understanding that we are existing. And if we put all parts of our development together we can see that we have a purpose. We are serving and providing all means for a goal. You understand it and I do. ANd the reason for that is this force in our spirits to order things to achieve a level of calm existence in this Brownian motion of a world. The way to grasp an understanding for this reality lies in our biology and chemistry of our brain. How it works?!
There are people who always went the way of straightaway doing their part, why?. There are so many reason started with the lifelong expectation of your tribe, kin or family and going on with our dreams and wishes. Naturally we must not forget the pressure of our nature. We have to eat therefore to hunt, to gather our crops or to work and go to the supermarket. In the same way our body forces us to compete for a partner or a better position. Hormons and insticts control our animal ego and thereby often our lives. Furthermore there is a need for a relegion. Many people lives for benefit for a God. And it was a long time a mystery why we do need God or Gods at all. Sometimes just a search for God makes people finding their purpose.
The new researches show that a part of our brain controls the feelings and emotions about relegion or just being very devote to someting. With this feature humanity could survive more successfully. So we can extrapolate from that - relegion is a gift from evolution. So evolution brings us to the order. Out of the hand of chaos. It may be that we need more time for achieving this goal that the universe gave us but this is a logic consequence. We cannot fail!
So do you ask yourself sometimes what is your life worth. Why are you on this planet, on this spot asking you - why?
We all do it, we all did it, we all are going to do it.
The start of finding the purpose was the first picture in a cave or the first gaze of love, may be the first gift to the dead for their lifes after here. Who knows? The most important question is how this wonderful and cruel way of being is going to end and whom recevies the gathered information? I think this is the reason to be happy in life and longing with pleasant anticipation for the death.

When hungry, eat your rice; when tired, close your eyes. Fools may laugh at me, but wise men will know what I mean.—Lin-Chi
Liebe Doubleduck, es tut mir leid für die Art des Textes, ich bin einfach richtig schlecht beim smalltalk.

[Duckduck]

Hi DuckduckVielen Dank für die schöne Korrektur. Es wird einfach so richtig nach deiner Bearbeitung, dass es ein Genuss ist zu lernen. Lange schwere Wörter gucke ich nach, srry!
Ich habe mir jetzt so ein TOEFL-Buch besorgt und arbeite daran rund um die Uhr. Ich hoffe das hilft.


I think about the world every day (Zeitangaben ruhig am Ende des Satzes, es sei denn, Du willst sie betonen). We live on (Wir Menschen sind ja nicht der Planet) a planet in the Milky Way. There are about 7 billions (Zahlworte stehen nicht im Plural) people on it (Demonstrativpronomen ist hier nicht passend, weil ja auf nichts hingewiesen wird) and a numerous of other species ("numerous" ist ein Adjektiv, deshalb davor kein Artikel und danach kein "of". Eine andere Möglichkeit wäre: "a huge number of..."). Our solar system is 6 billions (s.o.) years old and will probably exist another 5 billion years before the sun is going to "die".
The world and every tiny thing in it is full of detailes. Everything is complicated and that is why nature is beautiful. (Sorry, vielleicht habe ich Dich da nicht ganz richtig verstanden, aber der Ausdruck stimmte hier einfach nicht)
And then we have human beings, evolved and still evolving from the state of purely existing to that of understanding our existence. And if we put all parts of our development together, we can see that we have a purpose. We are all aiming for one certain goal. You understand it and so do I. The (In einer Prüfung besser Sätze nicht mit "and", "but" oder "because" beginnen) reason for that is this force in our spirits to order things to achieve a level of calm existence in this Brownian motion of a world. The way to grasp an understanding of this reality lies in our biology and the chemistry of our brain. You want to know how it works?!
There are people who always went the way of straightaway doing their part, why? (Hier muss ich raten Why have there always been people who unfailingly and without hesitation do what is expected of them? There are so many reasons for this behavior, starting with the lifelong expectations of your tribe, kin or family and going on with our dreams and wishes. Naturally, we must not forget the pressure of our nature. We have to eat - therefore we hunt, we sow and reap or we work, earn money and go to the supermarket. In the same way, our body forces us to compete for a partner or a better position. Hormones and instincts control a part of our animal mind and thereby/thus often our lives. Furthermore, there seems to be a kind of inborn need for a religion. Many people consecrate themselves to the glory of a God, although it took a very long time to find out why we do started needing God or gods in the first place. Sometimes it is the search for God that makes people finding their purpose.
The New researches show that a part of our brain controls the feelings and emotions about religion or, to be more exact, about being very devoted to something. Obviously, this feature has successfully helped humanity to survive. So we can extrapolate from that - religion is a gift of evolution. Evolution leads us from utter chaos to the order. Maybe that we will need more time to achieve this goal that the universe has set us, but this is a logic consequence. We cannot fail!
So, do you sometimes ask yourself what your life is worth? Why you are on this planet, on this spot asking yourself - why?
We all do it, we all did it, we all will do it.
Where did the quest for finding the purpose of life first start? Maybe it was with the picture in a cave or the first gaze of love, maybe with the first gifts to the dead for their afterlives. Who knows? The most important question is how this wonderful and cruel way of being is going to end and who will receive the gathered information? I think this is the reason to be happy in life and to long for the death with pleasant anticipation.

When hungry, eat your rice; when tired, close your eyes. Fools may laugh at me, but wise men will know what I mean.[font=Verdana","sans-serif]—Lin-Chi
Liebe Doubleduck, es tut mir leid für die Art des Textes, ich bin einfach richtig schlecht beim smalltalk.

Hi Oleg,

leid tun muss Dir hier gar nichts, aber das war schon ein ziemlicher "poser". Ich bin mir auch nicht sicher, ob ich Dich immer richtig verstanden habe. Ein wirklicher Denker bist Du, was?

Kleiner Hinweis aber: wenn Du im Test einen Text verfassen musst, solltest Du Deine Annahmen mit Beispielen untermauern und auch aufeinander beziehen, nicht nur einfach "aneinander reihen", wenn ich das mal so ausdrücken darf. Aber solche Fragen nach den Letzten Dingen stellt der TOEFL ja wohl auch nicht, nöch?

Liebe Grüße
Duckduck

[vetoleg]

Hallo Mrs. Duck²

Danke dir einfach Supervielen Dank.

Die Art des Textes ist meine Art zu denken im Allgemeinen. Das mit Beispielen ist eine sehr gute Sache, ich merke´s mir.

Ich hätte noch eine Frage. Gibt es ein Buch, wo klar und knapp ,ohne zu viel Wissenschaft beschrieben steht, wie ich am schönsten einen Text verfasse? Denn ich glaube dafür ein Händchen zu haben und würde gerne in die Fußstapfen von James Herriot treten.

Liebe Grüße
Oleg

[vetoleg]

Hallo
Heute möchte ich einen TOEFL Writing Thema mit reinbringen.


Do you agree or disagree with the following statement?
Always telling the truth is the most important consideretion in any relationship.

Denial is futile

This is one of the complicated questions of a day-to-day life. Every honest person would answer that truth is a milestone of every relationship and every person has to cherish this principle.
It is in my opinion simply not possible to be always an honest person. There are many sorts of relationships and thus there are many ways to deal with it. But I disagree with the following statement.

I take as example the relationship with my mother. As I was a teenager I had some health troubles to deal with and my mother became an overprotective parent. When I already was healthy she could not dismiss her attitude towards me. Every of wishes that was full of adventure and active life was in her eyes a danger to my wellbeing and must be destroyed with mighty parental "No". In order to have a joyfull life I had to learn to lie. It is not anything I am proud of but it was nessesary.

Absolutely forbidden is it to decieve your partner , the person with whom you share you life and your heart. But nobody is perfect and sometimes an honest opinion can be distorted through the perception of your spouse. And it ends in unpleasant and vacuous arguing. For example, if my wife asks me if she gained some weight. And I can forsee that my answer "Yes I think about 2 kilos" would make her so unhappy. And this unhappiness erupts in a small tragedy. I just give her credit that she can weigh herself and lie to omit bad feelings.

Sometimes the questions are to deep in your soul and you do not want to let in even your friends or family. Sometimes it is embarassing or dangeros for the future of the relationship. If you attend to a friends wedding and recognise his future wife as an old one-night-stand that happened long before they met. You do not burst into truthtelling. So you do not have other choice as to lie.

Those are rar happenings in relationships but they happen . And it is only one possibility to be honest to say that we all lie. And denial is futile!

[vetoleg]

please Help me advance in my writing skills

[joy]

Hallo
Heute möchte ich einen TOEFL Writing Thema mit reinbringen.


Do you agree or disagree with the following statement?
Always telling the truth is the most important consideration in any relationship.

Denial is futile

This is one of the more /mostcomplicated questions of day-to-day / daily life. Every honest person would answer that truth is a milestone of every relationship and (every person has to cherish this principle) / need to be cherished.
In my opinion it is simply not possible to be always an honest person. There are many sorts of relationships and thus there are many ways to deal with it. But I disagree with the following statement.

Let me take for example the relationship with my mother. As I was a teenager I had some health troubles to deal with and my mother became an overprotective parent. Although I was enjoying good health again (she could not dismiss her attitude towards me) she treated me as if I had still been sick. All my wishes that were full of adventure and activity were in her eyes a danger to my wellbeing and were stopped with a mighty parental "No". In order to have a joyful life I had to learn to lie. It is not anything I am proud of but it was necessary.


Absolutely forbidden is it to deceive your partner, the person with whom you share your life and your heart. But nobody is perfect and sometimes an honest opinion can be distorted by the perception of your spouse. And it ends in unpleasant and vacuous arguments. For example, if my wife asks me if she gained some weight, and I can foresee that my answer "Yes I think about 2 kilos" would make her so unhappy. And this unhappiness erupts in a small tragedy. I just give her credit that she can weigh herself and, to omit bad feelings, I tell a lie to her.

Sometimes, the questions touch you too deep in your soul and you do not want to let in anybody, not even your friends or family. Besides, saying the truthcan be embarrassing or dangerous for the future of the relationship. If you attend at a friend’s wedding and recognize his future wife as an old one-night-stand that happened long before they met, you do not burst into telling the truth. So you have no other choice but to lie.

Those are rare happenings in relationships but they happen. And there is only one possibility to be honest we are all lying from time to time. And denial is futile!

[vetoleg]

Danke schön für die Hilfe man lernt hier echt unheimlich viel

another Writing Skills TOEFL Test

It has been said, " Not everything that is learned is contained in books." Compare and contrasct knowledge gained from experience with knowledge gained from books. In your opinion, which source is more important? Why? Use specific reasons and examples to support your answer.


Knowledge became the last thousand years the most important ressource on this planet. And there are many diverese ways to gain knowledge. BUt if we start in the schools to learn to write and count we learn that we cannot draw on theory without have been practicing in the particular matter. The further our education advences the more we have to practice everything. That is the reason, why I consider knowledge gained from experience more important.

My personal experience as a student in veterinarian science was full of sitting at home and learning from books, making notes and studing the same complicated points over and over. And to my shame I forgot the bulk of learned information after the test. I felt myself as though I had too much to learn in an too expeditious pace. Often the next test was waiting and I started the same game with another topic though.
The change was formidable as our interships started and we had to work with the learned information. Despite the pressure that did not gave a posibillity to relax I had enjoied it because I saw that the knowledge stood and did not disappear as it always did if just theory was involved.
One of the most important factors is, that practice brings often so much feelings and actions that you do not have any time to be bored and although you are deprived of your leisure time you just enjoy going through it.

The experience of other people, that I have learned in books and talks about, shows the same point. Nobody can become an engenier, a nurce, a teacher, a doctor, a president and so forth, just by reading books. But you can achieve all those goals if you are eager and keen in learning through people and their experiences.
I do not want to say that books are not important in learning. Books are teaching us and since there are devices to print, knowledge became difused in every part of the world. It is even not possible to imagine how the world was before there were any books. But there was an age aproximately 5000 years long when people learned without written help and implements as internet . It is one of the proofs that the most important learning takes place during work and practicing among people.