Wollte mal anfragen ob ihr (ruhig mehrere) mal den unten stehenden Text lesen könntet und mir Korrekturvorschläge, Wortverbeserungsvorschläge und so weiter bringen könntet.
Vielen Dank im Voraus,
Brabax
Der Text an sich:
-How politics work-
The wind howled through the night and with it came an indescribable rain. Drops as thick as fists were hitting several window pales so hard as though they tried to break them. Actually this was a impossibility because of the double sealed energy fields which were protecting every window one is able to think of.
Never would anyone volunteer to join the outsides which was providing this weather in masses and without any break (not even for good people). Through dirt and mud ran our hero – just in case one doesn't figure it out by himself – that's the good guy of this story.
Some facts before continuing:
The good guy is the guy who survives the evil guy, which means that at the end of the story our good guy will still be alive and free while our bad guy will be dead or imprisoned or something like that.
The good guy will either get one girl, beautiful as never seen before or a harem of girls, all beautiful as never seen before despite among them.
Ah – and yes, the good guy will solve all riddles and return the world or wherever the plot takes place to its normal, peaceful state and everybody will be happy and admire the good guy. Bless him.
Anyway - the good guy who actually was called Tim and to which, though I would like to use “the good guy” some more, I'll refer to by this name from now on, was running through the dirt and the mud in the rainy and cold night. I guess I already told you that, but repeating some thing helps keeping them in mind, despite the special attention it brings. Before Tim tripped he was gaining speed, accelerating as some would say, and to his bad luck he missed to miss a stone which made him land face down in the so often before mentioned mud. Well – ignoring the dampness in his face and hair he brought himself back into a standing position, kicked the stone and began running again. Tim was a good fighter and so he ignored the pain in his toe which he just sprained by kicking the stone.
Suddenly it turned dark. He actually realised that this was the end of the street light line and that he was facing the dark. But he knew the way, he used to be a postman, before he made up his plan to defeat the evilness and to live of the glory and admiration he'll gain.
So he started off again - yes he actually stops every time a new thought strikes the dark!
He accelerated to his limits and we see him sweating, moaning but keeping up his speed and all of sudden... we don't see him any more. Erm.. turn back the camera please, we need to find out where this useless hero is stuck this time. Er... ah! Got him.
Well, he was hanging in a wire fence which he hit because he couldn't see it and totally forgot about it. In a really funny afford to free himself – I just wish you could see this – he got himself ended up with a broken arm and ripped clothes but despite that he was healthy. So no reason to stand around, climb that stupid fence and go on.
Well, he did as I suggested. You'll surely wonder how it is possible to climb a fence with a broken arm. Let me say so much: This is my damn story and I'll let him even climb fences without any limbs on his body if I want to! So stop asking, because you already missed how he ran into this huge dog which bit his leg and hurt him badly, once again.
This is just this typical syndrome postmen and dogs have and I know that I am doing odd cliché work... but hey, as I said, it is my story.
After all he arrived at the door of evilness itself. I am speaking of the bad guy – you know, the one who will lose in the end (am I killing the suspense?). He knocked, Buddy, that was the bad guys name, opened. Tim took all of his strength altogether and hit Buddy hard in the face.
And so Buddy was finally defeated and Tim became the hero he wanted to be, and so on, and so on.
Still people are wondering what actually Buddy had done for the commonality and why he was the key to end all evil, but HELLO will you concentrate on Tim himself, who achieved the goal of piece, happiness and ... and ... and ... you know, evil...less...ness or something. Bless him!
In order to understand what this text and politics have in common, please concentrate on two things:
1.The way the text is written.
2.The content of the text.