Bitte um eine kurze Korrektur meines Essays

Hier könnt ihr Sätze und kurze Texte zum Korrigieren einstellen.
Antworten
sanpi
Bilingual Newbie
Beiträge: 1
Registriert: 11. Mai 2017 12:12
Muttersprache: deutsch

Bitte um eine kurze Korrektur meines Essays

Beitrag von sanpi »

Habe mir selbst eine writing task geschrieben. Es wäre sehr nett, wenn sich das jemand durchlesen könnte und mir eventuelle Fehler mitteilt (vor allem Grammatik). Vielen Dank :)


1. Task - Essay on the subject globalisation

As mass communication, transport and trade continue to grow, societies are becoming more and more alike leading to a phenomenon known as globalisation. Some people fear that globalisation will inevitably lead to serious manifestations. Some of their worries are economic exploitation, the political power of multinational corporations and its misuse, social problems such as unemployment, environmental pollution and finally the loss of cultural identity.
To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement? Explain the term globalization.
Give your essay a title. Write about 450 words
Globalisation - The humanities dream of prosperity or rather a fear giving nightmare?
To discuss the manifestation of globalisation, it is necessary to give an accurate explanation of the term.
Globalisation describes a process by which national and regional economies, societies and cultures, get connected, through the global network of Trade, communication, immigration and transportation. These circumstances indicate that a happening in one area, can have knock on effects worldwide.
Whether globalisation has good or bad effects, is a dream or a nightmare, depends much on the perspective from which one looks at it. Or to say it more clearly, where someone lives, if a person is living in a LEDC or a MEDC.
For instant, partners and owners of companies in the clothing industry will have no reasons for complaining about the profits resulting out of a cost efficient production in a low wage country. However , the things look completely different for the workers in this so called Sweatshops. They slave up to 18 hours daily under unreasonable working conditions, financing a modest livelihood with their paltry wages.
In Addition, people are hardly aware, that mass production and the fuel intensive transport across the world linked to it, lead to a dissipation of natural resources and a high Carbon footprint. Extreme weather changes, environmental Pollution due to global warming and mountains of electronic scrap, because everyone in the western Hemisphere needs a new mobile each year, is just the result.
Another sad example, how the dynamic of globalisation became a nightmare for the local population, is the trade with Tanzania´s Nile perch. The predatory fish, once introduced to the Lake Victoria to boost the fishing industry, caused the extinction of the local species of fish and destroyed the functional diversity of the lake´s ecology. And above all, the fish is not affordable for the local population. Big cargo planes transport the fine white filets to Europe while starving Tanzanian families have to deal with the leftovers.
But nevertheless  there are also opportunities. The exchange of culture and intellectual capital supports innovation and progress. Increased business opportunities create new jobs in developing countries. New media like the Internet can build an awareness for issues like environmental catastrophes and call on for help if acquired.
Furthermore cultural damage due to westernization and americanization can be prevented by preserving the regional dialects, crafts and traditions.
The conclusion is, if all people develop an awareness of the adversely impacts of globalisation, humanity will be capable of solving the problems of poverty, unfair trade, environmental pollution and cultural damage.
Therefore people in power need to take action as role models. Governments need to enact and keep laws, which contain fair trade, adequate terms of employment and environmental protection.

We should think about under which conditions the things we consummate are produced. Buying Fair Trade Products is a good example for supporting the people in other countries in the right way.




Antworten