Just want to double check if everything is correct.

[blabla612]

Good morning,
I'm about to sent an email to one of my professors and just want to make sure everything is alright.
So it would be really nice if you guys could correct me, if there is something I could do better. Thanks!

"Dear Mrs xyz,
I was one of your business English negotiations students last semester and I was wondering if it would be possible to get a language certificate, because I might need one for my practical semester abroad.
If I remember it right, you offered us to issue a certificate regarding our xyz language level. 
Also, would it be better for you if I would pick it up in person in your office in xyz?
Best regards,
xyz"

[Keswick]

Good morning,
I'm about to sent an email to one of my professors and just want to make sure everything is alright.
So it would be really nice if you guys could correct me, if there is something I could do better. Thanks!

"Dear Mrs xyz,

I was one of your business English negotiations (wenn das der Titel des Kurses war, dann wuerde ich das als Name kapitalisieren: Business Englisch Negotiations) students last semester and I was wondering if it would be possible to get a language certificate, because I might need one for my practical semester abroad.

If I remember rightly, you offered us to issue a certificate regarding our xyz language level. 

Also, would it be better for you if I collected it in person from your office in xyz?

Best regards,
xyz"

[blabla612]

Vielen Dank!